Do you think your husband wouldn't have married you if you'd "given him the milk" first?

absolutely. my fiance gets as much milk as he wants, and he cant wait to make me his wife!

we dated and slept together for a while, then HE was the one who said he loves me first, HE was the one who offered to support me financially while i studied, HE was the one who first brought up the topic of marriage, and HE is the one who has a count-down on his calendar!

not that im not excited to be getting married, but just that he is just as happy as i am. i feel so sorry for women who have so little faith in their husbands. i admit, i didnt have much faith in men (judging off all of my ex's) until i met my partner. we have great sex and enjoy each others company (after living and working together for 6 months and not getting sick of each other or arguing, i know he's the one) and i think that if i was to hold back on giving him his "milk" our relationship might not be as perfect as it is now.

i agree with you that these women are trying to put others down, i believe that they think that just because their lives didnt turn out like a fairytale, nobody else's can. and i just feel very sorry for them.

okay this is stupid first of all yes men do think that if you give them the milk your a slut only if its the same day your meet him or one wk and expect to get married in the next 3 moth see the reason why some men dont marry quick is because they don't like to be rushed in into commitment is the sex the problem no unless its bad he if your a freak in the bed and a lady on the streets be sure to be getting married sometime in the future. of course no lady should give it up early what is this world coming too so many hoes these days guys and girls . Anyhow if the guy likes you and the way you please him he will marry you if your a ***** ,jealous, problematic , insecure then he will not marry you. If you been with a guy for awhile and then you think "oh he doesnt want to marry me he hasnt asked after all this time?" then ladies dont think he doesnt love you he just isnt ready or he might be cheating on you who knows all is certain sex is not the problem unless like i said you suck in bed sorry but true.

I've never been able to fathom why women put up with living with someone for 10 yrs or so and the man hasn't proposed. I wouldn't stay in a relationship that didn't have a future.My ex always said why just choose one box of cereal when there are thousands. Just like the saying to many fish in the sea. Hence the reason he is an EX. I'm currently engaged to a wonderful man who couldn't wait to get married. Yes, we lived together first, and had sex but that has nothing to do with getting married. I think its actually a good thing to live together before you get married because people change once you live with them. The putting on a show is over.

I think it depends on the people involved. There are definitely men that think this way and don't want to be bothered getting married, but don't want to change their situation (i.e-dump their girlfriend or move out). In situations like that, the women involved are in denial of the situation or are allowing themselves to be victims.

I think most people on this site have seen women post the question, "Why hasn't he asked me to marry him?" Most of the time, the women doesn't know how to approach the man or doesn't have the strength to leave.

I was the type of women that always approached my boyfriend openly about the situation of marriage. I always made it clear that I would leave, if I wasn't getting what I felt I deserved.

I made him accountable and I didn't allow him to have 100% ccontrol the situation. I was an active player in my own future. I didn't push him into marriage. But, I told him, "I'm not that kind of girl. You either do the right thing or I'll walk" I told him what I knew I deserved and what I knew was the morally right thing to do. I don't consider making my beliefs and my thoughts known, as being pushing. Eventually, we became engaged. Although, I never lived with him prior to getting engaged.

I don't think all men enter into relationships or into live-in situations with the idea that he's "getting the milk for free" Only scumbags think that way. There are certain types of men, with certain types of traits, upbringing and moral (or lack of) beliefs that make them feel this way. Most of the time, you can pinpoint the types of men pretty easily!

But, there are always certain types of women that allow men to treat them like they're not worthy of marriage. It's a two way street in this situation. No one is making anyone stay in a relationship that's not emotionally satisfying or committed.

We did not live together before we married. We are traditional people, and it just wasn't right for us.

I have no problem with couples living together under certain circumstances. Before a couple takes that step, expectations should be freely discussed, which seems not to happen very often. If it did, you wouldn't have so many women complaining they've lived together so long and he now says he'll never marry.

If a woman can only truly be happy for herself if she is married, she is a fool to settle for being simply the live-in lover. If she's truly and honestly ambivalent about marrying, I say go for it, you may find he's your dream or your nightmare, or you may be content to just stay with things as is. If, however, you're just moving in hoping to speed up his desire to marry, you, you're probably just kidding yourself. All you're doing is compromising your own dreams and goals for something so much less than what you really want and giving a free pass to someone who doesn't even love you enough to take that step with you. That seems a shame to me.

honey, these women do get married, and i am one of them, im a little offended you termed this slutty. i am no where near a slut, i have only been with one man, him in my whole life. we needed to move in together because we moved two states away from our home so i could work at johns hopkins. yes, we waited a few years to marry but we were only 17 when we started dating. also i beleive living together is best before marriage because sometimes you find out things about your partner that you cant deal with.

and why these women wait so long, i wanted to make sure 100% that he was ready to be married. i am not going to marry someone that still goes out every weekend with his friends.

but just to let you know, these men eventually marry and i am not a slut.

I think that whole cow/mild analogy doesn't work. If he doesn't want to marry you, he doesn't want to marry you and it doesn't matter how much sex you are or aren't having. As an adult in an adult relationship I would expect sex to be part of the equation and if I were dating a man who refused to sleep with me as some sort of "marriage test" I would just move onto someone who was a grown up. I would imagine it's the same for men and the women they date.

i had a friend that helped me move, so i let him stay at my place since it was 5 minutes from where he worked & he was staying with a friend an hour away...

he never left! we were engaged about 9 months later and by the time we get married we will have been engaged for about 2 years and 1 week

i'm not even sure we would have ended up dating if we didn't live together, and he had no problem choosing to stay with me even though we had a physical relationship, in fact i do not believe he would have proposed if we hadn't slept together

having sex in a healthy monogamous relationship is not slutty, and no one i know would say that

and withholding sex doesn't seem like a good way to get a man to marry you - it's kinda messed up if you ask me

I've been with my fiance for 5 years, we have lived together for 3 of those years and will be getting married this year. I think it depends on the couple. We discussed marriage before we moved in we both knew that was what we saw for our future. I would not have moved in with him, if I did not think it was serious or that we wouldn't get married. Also we had been together for a couple of years when we moved in so we knew we were serious in our relationship. I think that before a couple makes any important decisions like moving in together they need to sit down and discuss what they both expect to happen, like in this case, that they both expect marriage to happen after a certain time.

yeah I say why buy the pig when you can get the sausage free right ladies! har har har! seriously my fiance is the most true and good person I've ever known, we've been together almost 2 years but even if I never put out for him, I know he'd still marry me and wait for me if I didn't want to do it until I was married. which I think is a bunch of hooey by the way, it's the 21st century after all.