When did "birthmother" become a medical term?

It isn't. The generally accepted medical/scientific term would be "biological mother".

Unfortunately, "birthmother" has become an accepted part of the vernacular (as clearly demonstrated by some of the other answers).

Thank you for putting so much thought into this - I am sure your daughter will appreciate it. (Who wants to feel as though the came from an "incubator"?! Its better for her that you encourage people to see her other mother as a human being too!) I would tactfully say something on my next visit were it me. Every little bit of education helps. JMHO.

The doctor should have picked up on the terminology you preferred but in all honestly I don't think he or she was trying to be insensitive. In professions like doctors, law enforcement, CPS, etc. you have so many cases that it's hard to keep track of individual names you develop the habit of referring to people in the family situation by their role and not their name. However, the person should be sensitive enough to not use this with the family.

I'm a CPS worker and I'll be honest, when we consult about 25 referrals at once we often refer to people by their title - the mother, the father, the aunt, etc. This isn't meant to be insensitive it's just to keep the relationships clear as it's easier than remembering 200 names and how they are related. That said, if someone was correcting me then it's obviously important to them and I always use the terminology they prefer.

I know it was probably really upsetting for you but keep in mind the doctor probably saw dozens of patients that day, at least. It was simply probably easier for him or her to separate the players in the family by clearly identifying them by their relationship to the child, ie, adoptive mom, birth mom, etc. If it really bothers you you could talk with the doctor but at the end of the day the important thing is did you get good medical care/developmental assessment. It might be a bit much for the doctor to remember to call her Nancy (or whatever her name might be) but I think it's fine to simply correct him or her politely when the term birth mother is used and just say, "We prefer the term natural mother if you don't mind." That should get the point across without making it an issue.

I find the term fetus disgusting and a medical attempt to dsensitize and alienate what the "fetus" ACTUALLY is; I thought that was the whole point, if you don't call it a baby it's easier to kill it, like a bug.

I haven't experienced it directly from health professionals, but I have come across similar... was it said with a sneer? Not asking to spark fury or indignation, but only to relay my experiences - in much the same way as I've faced sneers when mentioning being adopted (including in college this week by someone who's aiming to be a social worker - let's just hope his attitude changes before he graduates!).

Tbh, I have no idea whether you should tackle it or leave it alone - I s'pose ***for me*** it would depend on the whats as well as the whys as to whether I thought I should tackle such things or not - I may become too worried that my child would be adversely affected by their reaction to my intervention wrt their judgements as to whether or not I'd correct them - *I think*.

I s'pose more than anything, it'd depend on how relevant the pre-natal medical history was to the current medical crisis, as to whether I'd say much.

What I will say is good luck in getting whatever health issues it is sorted with the minimum intervention necessary. :)

I was also not aware that they did this and agree with you that if you're educated about adoption issues, you would naturally be sensitive about it. I have a neighbor/close friend who is a nurse practitioner and also an aunt to an adopted child in an open adoption (one that really is open).

But she was using the term "birthmother". I finally said to her in a friendly way "you know, terminology has changed to be more p.c. and many first/natural/bio mothers feel objectified when they are referred to that way. I thought you just might want to know that since you deal with these kinds of things all the time in your family and professionally". She thanked me and said she had no idea and since I had explained it, she would be more sensitive.

In her case, I also sent her some links about adoption.

I see nothing wrong with mentioning this to Drs. without sounding accusatory. Good for you for caring about this!

I know. I KNOW.

We had a pediatrician appt. for both our kids (who are currently still in foster care) back in early February. There were some issues that needed to be discussed that were regarding prenatal drug exposure...When the nurse was talking to us, she kept calling their mother "birthmom". Not even "the". Just..."birthmom", as if it was her name. I never called her anything but their mother. They are still in foster care, her rights to our (the collective "our") daughter were not terminated yet.

The doctor on the other hand, at least called her "their biological mother". At least he didn't keep calling her "birthmom".

It's funny, because I haven't heard "birth" terms that much in real life. Our worker says "biomom" or just "mom", and most of the foster parents we know do the same...the "birth" term is something that I think sounds really strange, especially coming from the mouths of professionals, because in many ways, it's a pretty nonsensical term. I also have adoptees in my family, and I've never really heard them use that term either. It's always been "bio" or "biological".

"Bio" or "biological" would be more clinical, if that's what the doctor in your case was going for.

I just kept reiterating to the nurse that she was their "mother", but she was so hurried, and I was so surprised that by the time she was walking out, it had only barely registered.

Next time, I might be better prepared to say something, but I'm really not sure they'd "get it", you know? It's hard to explain to people not connected with adopto-land why things like that might be perceived as offensive. It's never bad to educate, but sometimes it feels like your banging your head against a proverbial wall...

Probably when "The Giver" by Lois Lowry became required reading. But adoption isn't a cold ritual as in the book.

A medical term would be biological mother.

Birth mother is demeaning.

Only a time or two in 30 yrs of foster care were we ever asked anything about the child's parents

and they said 'birth parents' then and I referred them to the child's worker.

Birth mother seems like the most 'medical correct' term for a first mom. I have also heard some use biological mother.

Most doctors aren't concerned with being politically correct. They are concerned with doing their job and I am sure they just want the facts- not to beat around the bush or get into what words might be offensive to the mother who isn't even there.

It is just how it is. They want a medical history about the birth/biological family.

If it were a therapist, I would expect more consideration on their part. But a medical doctor, not so much.

We were often referred to as "THE foster/adoptive parents" and it didn't bother me at all. I didn't expect to be called the second family or new family, etc. During the fostering process, in court my girls were usually called "THE child", not by name.

I can see why it would bother you, but it really has no relevance to your child's medical tests right now.

eh sounds too nit picky. i am adopted and have always always called my biolociacl mother birth mom. nobody really sits and think =s about this stuff soo deeply. its not somehting soo huge that it needs to brought up. just let it go. in fact i think my birth mom also calls herself birth mom. i dont believe it is a foul term it is just a term used to describe the woman who gave birth to the child.