Wedding ceremony dilemma, advice?

Do you want a religious ceremony, or a church ceremony? Two different things. If you want the religious, I suggest a non-religious venue, with two officiants. I'm sure you could find one who could serve for both, but it feels like you wouldn't be able to find one comfortable with both traditions easily. If you want to walk down an aisle, walk down an aisle. You'd have to get to the front in a purely islamic ceremony anyways. If you want a traditional dress, get a traditional dress. Nothing against it in Islam, just be modest about it. Same with the kiss. In general would your mom settle for having you married by a Protestant minister? If so, go for it. How would anyone know about his sexual orientation unless he shows up in sequins and hits on male guests? A dual ceremony would just include both set of traditions. It's very common.

Edit: I just read your response to another question. Why not go with the outfit your FMIL bought you for the ceremony and change into a traditional dress for the reception if it's important to you to wear one at some point on your wedding day?

B2B is wrong, Catholics can marry non-Catholics without anyone having to convert. Only the Traditionalist Catholics who broke away from the Roman Catholic church after Vatican II, want the non-Catholics to convert or no Catholic wedding.

I'm Catholic so I'm going to give you two possible "Catholic" ideas that might help you.

Idea 1: You go with the Islamic ceremony but afterwards you have a Catholic Convalidation ceremony. This is basically a vow renewal where the church will acknowledge your marriage. Most priests will only do it as part of a regular Sunday Mass so it won't be a separate ceremony where you get to walk down the aisle in a big white dress. However, since your fiance is not a Christian there might be a few more loops for you to jump through to have this done. I'll admit that I'm not sure what they might be.

Idea 2: You go talk to a Catholic priest about obtaining all the dispensations you'll need to get married in an Islamic ceremony but with the church's blessing. I know that one of the dispensation's is a Dispensation from Canonical Form and I know there's another one but it's title has slipped my mind. With this ceremony you might be able to finagle things so that you have both priest and Islamic leader at the ceremony. The Islamic leader would do most of the talking and the priest would at most do a blessing.

Either way, you could call a priest (any priest) and ask if you can have an appointment to talk to him about options. He's the best person to advise you and you can just talk and then go away and think. And then you need to decide what's really important to you and what's just a 'it would be nice to have'.

And I agree with previous poster who said that it's not like the Protestant minister would walk in and say 'I'm gay so let's get this thing on the road'. What your family doesn't know won't upset their sensibilities. And you could even ask the Islamic leader about walking down the aisle and finishing with a kiss. Worst he could say is 'no'.

As for the dress dilemma... the last 'mixed' ceremony I went to was a Hindu/Christian one. The bride wore the traditional dress for the ceremony and then changed into a gorgeous white dress for the reception. I thought it was a nice compromise.

Good luck.

EDIT: A priest would marry you to a baptized Protestant provided certain conditions were met and promises made (like raising kids Catholic). The main problem (from a priest's point of view) is that you have no desire to worship as a Catholic. So to them it becomes a case of why marry in the church if you don't want to be part of the church.

Oh, and the other dispensation is called a Disparity of Cult, which would apply in your case of marrying a non-Christian.

My family is extremely Catholic but my husband and I are muslims. I wanted to have my dream wedding with the white dress and all that good stuff. The blessing of a religious leader was very important to me. I think the same way you think, I didn't want to just get married at the courthouse I wanted a "real wedding". I used a dress for my Islamic ceremony (that was in the morning with only my closest family present) I then went home and put on my beautiful wedding dress. When we later arrived at the party we had a very close friend giving out a spiritual Speech (he is a catholic priest) as it was extremely important to my family. We talk to him and made him aware that we wanted God and not Jesus to be the word he used when blessing our union. We then finished the ceremony with a big kiss like I had always dreamed of. We then had the most Latin party you can imagine with a few Moroccan attendants :). Perhaps that would work for you! it doesn't matter if others aren't too excited about having a religious wedding, if it is important to you and your fiance is backing you up then go ahead and do it!

This is tough.

What you have to figure out is do you want an Islamic ceremony, a Catholic or Christian ceremony or do you want a combination. You and your fiance are going to have to find a compromise that encompasses everything. How do you know your family will be horrified at the though of a gay minister? How would they even know he's gay because that plays no part in a wedding ceremony at all. I think you're missing the point of what your mother wants--is to simply see her daughter get married and also have that marriage blessed by her faith and the faith in which she was raised to.

Bottom line--unless you do it in a Catholic church, you will more than likely not be able to get a Catholic priest to do a ceremony or co-officiate so you'll have to find a minister. If you want a religous ceremony, you have to figure out what kind of religous ceremony YOU want to have and don't choose just because his family doesn't have religious ceremonies. What would mean more to you?

Maybe you could talk to your fiance about what you want to incorporate from the Catholic wedding and see if there is a way the officiant can't do this for you. If this is not possible then maybe have the islam ceremony and then a christian receptoin, where you get to kiss when the guests clink the glasses. Or you could have the gay minister be a part of the ceremony too, and if the very religious members of your family object explain to them that this is YOUR wedding. Also might want to point out that they don't have to come if they are going to object and that it isn't very Christian of them to judge you based on your not getting married in the Catholic church since you are not as religious as them. The thing is whatever you decide should make you and your fiance happy. It is your wedding, not anyone else's so make it unique and fitting for the two of you. If people don't like it tough, they have their chance to do their weddings the way they want to. If the aren't paying for the ceremony then they have no place to state what they want. Just my opinion, and congrats!

This is really complex. And it's hard to try to help, because there are issues involved I don't have experience with. However, one thing I do know, and that's if you marry him, not only will you not get a priest blessing, you're not even a Catholic anymore. So that part surprises me, because if your parents are that strict about their Catholicism, they (and the church) would want HIM to do the converting, not you. What happens when you have kids? That's another angle, because the Catholic religion, as you know, is more dogmatic than most in terms of what is required. Will your mom want the kids raised Catholic?

This might sound bizarre, but have you considered converting to Islam? Your marriage pretty much precludes being a strict Catholic anyway, and this might be easier for your parents to accept than a gay officiant :)

Seriously I don't know. Maybe your fiance is right. I know what you mean about having "that moment" but if it comes at too high a price, remember it's just a moment. And you're starting a a lifetime.

Edit: B2B, you are not stating facts. You are using a wedding site to preach and condemn, which is not only rude, it's not particularly Christian.

So why not customize the ceremony and just use the elements that are important to you and your fiance?

Get the big white dress if you want it. Walk down the aisle. Have an Islamic ceremony (or find a non-denominational officiant who will perform the necessary elements of an Islamic ceremony, and also mention your Catholic heritage out of respect to that side of your family). Big kiss and you're done.

Think about what defines a "religious ceremony" for you. Is it a blessing by a religious leader? Is it kneeling in church/temple/mosque? Is it a traditional collection of words and vows? Think about the pieces that are meaningful for you (and your fiance), and just use those.

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I am a non muslim woman who is married to a muslim man and we had an islamic wedding in an islamic country.

The chances of you get a blessing from a Catholic priest is next to nil. In order to marry in the catholic church both of you must be catholic.So unless you know someone who is really liberal, than I think you are totally out of luck.

As for having the big white dress, you can still do that with an islamic wedding. I didn't do the big white dress, it held no interest for me, but at my BIL wedding this past December in Jordan, my new SIL wore a beautiful huge white wedding dress. So did one of my nieces a few months before that. Their wedding were held in hotel ball rooms and they did have the "big" walk from the entry to the stage where they exchanged rings. There was no big kiss, but since you are marrying into a liberal muslim family, a kiss many not be such a big deal.

i might do the coastline wedding ceremony you had planned. an afternoon or 2 after have a speedy ceremony on the church. You/husband/2 witnesses. perhaps invite the persons who could no longer discover the money for to trip to the coastline one yet do no longer make a great ordeal out of the 2nd ceremony. Quiet and in certainty just to make the priest chuffed. you additionally could have the church wedding ceremony and plan a "reception weekend" on the coastline. Your husband does no longer must be baptized yet you will ought to flow by way of each and every of the pre-canna instructions, he will ought to attend some Mass, and sign papers that promise to strengthen the youngsters Catholic Cons of doing it afterwards: No intercourse on your wedding ceremony nighttime Cons of doing it until eventually now: Your anniversary would be incorrect and your recations on the coastline wedding ceremony human beings see might no longer be as extreme because of the fact it particularly is the 2nd around asserting vows.