Does the circumstance of your adoption influence your feelings about it?

Speaking for myself, I was incredibly thankful for my adoption. I was older and my first parents were awful, but I also recognize that other people genuinely despise the idea of being "grateful" for their adoptions. No one should feel compelled to feel one way or another about their adoption.

I was not taken away from a possibility, I was taken from a terrible reality. I knew my bio parents and they were not capable of parenting well, so my adoption was a happy situation. My loss and grief occurred when I was abused--not when I was taken away. Other people's grief stem from the separation from their bio parents, I prayed for it.

I believe that each person's view of adoption is different and complex because each person has such a different experience with adoption. Forcing it into "happy" and "bitter" does not encompass most adoption experiences.

Resolved Questions, 6 days ago "Adoptees.....Does it matter? " asked and answered.

Your Right, they are a little different!

To answer your question, The reason that there is so much hostility between the happy and un happy adoptees is because ....... Those of us that have had a bad experience with adoption (and there are alot of us) get upset when we hear some one , happy adoptee or not, say how good of a thing adoption is! Adoption is not a good thing!

Now, before I go any further and get a bunch of hate mail, Let me say there are some occasions to where adoption is a last resort for the child, for instance, if the child was constantly beaten by their parents, or if the child was sexually abused, or if the birth parents were killed and there were no other family members...... Even with that being said, those few horror stories , don't make adoption a great thing!

I have yet to see one unhappy adoptee attack a happy adoptee, just because they were happy that they were adopted, Its when those statements are followed by things like I just love adoption, adoption is so wonderful , or the reason you have problems or you are unhappy have nothing to do with being adopted, you just choose to blame it on being adopted!

I cant describe to you how bad I want to smack someone when I hear them say that!

We just have different opinions...... Some have had a happy story, and are all for adoption, and the rest of us did not have a good experience , and we do not like the system, or what it stands for.

Then you have the group of the non adoptees here , that just like to talk sh-t about stuff they don't know!

I mean am I the only person that freaks out on how many single women and young couples come here saying that they don't want to keep there baby and give it up for adoption because they prefer to make alot of money, or stay in school, or so they can have an easier life!

Things need to change, or pretty soon the whole next generation is going to be all adoptees! And no, that is not going to be a good thing. No one talks about the fact that for every one happy adoption story there is, there are dozens and dozens that are filled with pain and misery......

I don't know! I have more questions than answers........

plenty. in certainty, i could guess a raffle that the AP impacts the common public of the sentiments the baby has in the direction of their adoption. maximum adoptees that have been observed very youthful have various questions on the subject of the 1st kinfolk. If the AP's refuse to respond to questions or circumvent answering what they comprehend, i think of that ought to make an observed baby sense as though their first kinfolk is a taboo venture and instil unfavorable thoughts approximately not basically the 1st kinfolk, however the adoptive kinfolk and adoption extra often than not. although, the flexibility to talk brazenly and definitely approximately their adoption, and having adoptive dad and mom that volunteer all tips they comprehend (except that is something like that the baby became the effects of rape or incest, which does not be suited to tell an exceptionally youthful baby), without judgement, i could guess the baby could be extra content with their adoption. I additionally think of that an AP's willingness to assist and help their observed baby find for the beginning discern/s in the event that they don't seem to be in touch is crucial to how the adoptee perceives their adoption and their place interior the kinfolk.

I think there is a huge difference between those who were adopted through foster care, particularly those who were taken from unsuitable parents, and those of us who were adopted during the BSE. I quite often see on here adoptees who state that they are happy to be adopted, then go on to state that they were adopted later in childhood after having been subjected to abuse by their first parents....if my experience were the same as some of theirs, Im sure that I too would be happy to have been adopted, obviously for them adoption was salvation.

For me and others from the BSE though adoption was not salvation, it was the theft of our families and our identities. It was abandonment by those who should have loved us, it was a bunch of legal lies that we were forced to live out. For the majority of BSE adoptions it was the knowledge that the ones who didnt want us werent our mothers, but our grandparents.......I will admit, that one freaks and saddens me every time I see my aparents with their grand and great grandchildren, DAMN IT, WHY THE HELL DIDNT MY GRANDPARENTS WANT ME?? What was so wrong with me that I deserved to be thrown to the unknown as an infant?? I dont think that the way aparents handle the adoption angle has much to do with how I feel about it, my aparents were always open to discussion regarding my adoption, and they were always very honest about their understanding of why I was relinquished. I was raised to love and respect my first mother, told from the outset that it was my grandparents who made the decision to relinquish and that my first mum was forced to comply. It was my amother who helped me begin my search for the truth way back when I was 18.

I despise dishonesty. I hate adoption because it forces me to live a lie. Its simply who I am. No matter how my aparents had handled things, Im quite sure I would still have felt this way.

I think some people are just naturally positive or negative, & that carries over into all areas of life. A negative person will always be bitter or angry about something, I have a feeling that if some of the "angry" adoptees had stayed with their birthparents it wouldn't have been as wonderful as they think & they might have even wished they were adopted.

The way I feel about "my" adoption influences how I feel about my a-family.

The way I feel about adoption in general is influenced by the other personal stories that I hear, and other media reports that have nothing to do with me.

I have to compartmentalize this stuff. My own personal experience was awful. This doesn't mean that everyone else's personal experience was, and I can fully accept that some people feel that their adoptions were good. What I cannot understand is how this can influence them to not see how adoption has a dark side.

Our own experiences are just that. Ours. We are a small cog in a huge machine. While it might weigh into the overall issue, it doesn't mean that the whole issue is the same as our experience.

I try to take myself out of the equation when I think about adoption. "My" adoption, and adoption in general are related, but "my" adoption doesn't factor in to my general opinion.

i was adopted from foster care but like minnie mouse said it's different. i don't feel bad about it because my birthmother/family could not have raised me. i know that. i've met them.

all in all my adoption was good. i have an excellent family and always felt loved and safe. that's more than a lot of kids have.

My opinion on adoption was formed at a very early age, and it isn't likely to change. It wasn't formed by simply my own experience, but by the views expressed by the adult members of society when I was a child.

will i am adopted twice but i feel like i am weird i know that she is my mom but i cant feel anything of her being my mother i dont know why dont it is differecult plz help with me too

im so glad you have asked this question thank you