are some kids better off being adopted?

In the case of abuse, addiction and mental instability then yes, absolutely a child would be off in a better home with people who actually want them and are not putting them in danger.

In the case of flat out just not wanting a child...then a child would most likely be better off. I wouldn't want to be in a home where someone maintained the thought of they didn't want me...if the parent firmly believes they don't want the child then that's their choice and the child doesn't need to suffer.

If the case is the parent doesn't have the financial means or is scared...then no. That parent needs real help and should be encouraged every step to keep their family together..

A parent should be given every opportunity and every aide they need to stay with their children....

Adoption doesn't guarantee a better home or life...just a different one...

Robin, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. It does sound as if he was raised in a toxic environment. But at least he was around other members of his natural family and didn't have that loss to deal with. The emotional and physical cruelty at the hand of your mother, certainly didn't help.

But I don't know that he would have been better off adopted. There's no way to tell.

I am a first mother who searched for and found my son when he was 21 years old, back in 1990. He was adopted by and raised by a very affluent family who later had a biological daughter. Outwardly, he appeared to be given every advantage and to my knowledge, I don't believe the adopters were abusive other than being emotionally unavailable. I mention him because he became a heroin addict and while he was never imprisoned, I confess to reading the obits every day in the city he lives in because I am not convinced he wants to or can recover.

Personally, in my son's case I think his having been taken from his first mother (me) who desperately wanted to keep him, set him up for all kinds of emotional and abandonment issues. Yes, it was his choice as to how much he wanted to work on these things and perhaps he might have turned out to be the same, but I doubt it.

Again, I am so sorry your brother passed and had such a tragic life. It's no one's fault though.

I really don't know, I was adopted at birth and now I'm 17. I have a great family and can't imagine life without them. I don't know anything about my Bio parents but despite what people say I can make an educated guess as to what they were probably like. I'd say I turned out better with my a parents than I would have with my bio mom/dad...but who knows? Honestly I think it depends on the individual and the situation, some adoptees grow up bitter and resentful that they were adopted and feel that their Ap's shouldnt have adopted them and others seem to turn out pretty well....

Yes. If the parents are unwilling or unable to provide for the needs of the child (physicial, environmental, emotional, etc) then maybe adoption is the right option. I know a few people who were raised by very bad teenage parents who, in spite of having family support, just wouldn't actually step up and BE a parent. More than one has verbalized to me that he/she wished he/she had been adopted instead of being saddled by a parent who didn't want them.

Yes, some people aren't cut out to be parents as they either really don't want to be a parents or their lifestyle isn't good for raising a child. I don't particularly like adoption but I acknowledge there are times when a child is better off being adopted.

I think if a mother truly doesn't want to be a parent, then the child should go up for adoption. Not all women who don't want to be mothers feel that abortion is something they can do. My mother did not want to have me. She was pushed into it by family, and boy, did I pay the price. Neglected, abused, abandoned at parks and beaches...you name it. I was made to feel worthless, and she got mad AT ME when her husband paid me unwelcome attention. I think my life would have been better being raised by someone who actually wanted me. Children who are abused and neglected also have a higher percentage rate of criminal activity. At some point, though, as adults, we need to take responsibility for our own happiness. Even though my life was crap as a child, as an adult, I've put myself through therapy and am healed. The past is the past, and I don't dwell on it. I think to an extent, we all create our own happiness.

I'm sorry to hear of your brother's passing. It sounds like he had a rough life. I think he would have been better off being adopted. At least there's a better chance of him being with parents who wanted him vs. his mother who did not. Your grandparents should have taken more responsibility with him.

Yes if the child is being abused then it's better to be adopted. Children in the foster care system are the abused kids.

I really do think some people would be better off adopted, than raised by their own parents. I think sometimes the other way as well. That some should of been given up.

Yes, some kids are better off being adopted.

Problem is, how to identify which ones they are without the benefit of a time machine...