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My daughter told me that her daddy doesn't love her?

I'm pretty much the primary caregiver for my daughter even though I work full time and my husband works part time. She goes to daycare m-f and we alternate pick up and drop off but I always get her ready in the morning. I'm the one that takes her to the park, activities, shopping etc. My husband seems rather indifferent when it comes to spending time with her. If I leave her with him to run errands he sits on the computer and she watches cartoons. She says that her daddy doesn't listen to her and doesn't love her. It's clear that there is a lack of bonding going on. I tell her that daddy loves her very much but it's gotten to the point that if he tries to do anything for her or even give her a hug that she says no and comes to me. I try to encourage her to let him help fix her plate or help her wash her hands but she throws a fit and he just gives up and turns her over to me. It doesn't help that whenever I ask him to do something to help me he makes these little sighs and unhappy noises like I'm totally putting him out by asking him to get her a bowl of grapes or something. I'm going to try to get us counseling as his lack of participation in the household and parenting duties is really putting a strain on our marriage. Has anyone been in a similar situation and been able to recover the marriage and the parent/child bond?

Update:

I've talked to my husband many times about participating more over the past year and nothing changes, which is why I'm looking into counseling.

4 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    you need to have a long serious talk with your husband. you need to tell him he needs to make an effort. and when he trys to hug her or talk to her and when she comes running to you you need to tell her to go back to her dad and give her a hug or whatever. he and you need to remind her that you both love her very much.

  • 1 decade ago

    He needs to get more involved in the outings with you and your daughter. Even though errands are suppose to be "fast" we both know nothings "fast" these days, make it a day you all go and let him get her out of the car (put the car seat on his side) stop for an ice cream cone on the way home and let him give it. You can put him into the "more responsive / involved" roll without him knowing that's what your doing. Also, with the computer and his lack of time? Since he only works part time, he can shut it down when you get home with the baby right? or have a set aside family time where the computer is off. Me myself, my husband got tired of having to get the computer fixed that we don't have one at home anymore..lol.. not sure what happened all those times. ;-o Good luck and don't worry...don't give into her when she wants you to do everything for her, you guys are the parents and its okay to tell her daddy is going to have to help you with that cause mommy is busy right now.

  • 1 decade ago

    My children are like that sometimes toward my husband but they dot usually stay that way. they usually just do i when their mad or something. My husband use to barely help me around the hous but we have since talked about it and im happy to say that he is doing a lot more and trys very hard to ba part of the kids play time.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Maybe he never wanted a daughter. Maybe he thinks the woman's job is to raise the kid. You need to talk to him about this and go into family counseling.

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