How do I help get my boyfriend's daughter to sleep in her own bed?

I guess I'm unclear on your question. You want advice on how to discuss this issue with your BF and at the same time you want advice on how to transition her out of the family bed because it's unacceptable to you. It sounds to ME like you've made a decision, so why bother talking to the BF. MAYBE you should just talk to your boyfriend about how you feel about co-sleeping and a family bed and negotiate with HIM what to do about it. MAYBE, for example, the answer is that YOU figure out how to adjust (not that you move her out.) MAYBE there are other compromises or MAYBE he will agree with you. I think your first mistake is presuming that you have the right and best answer. If you really want to talk about this with your BF, then you should keep an open mind and broach the discussion by telling him how you feel and come to a decision, based on the discussion, jointly, about how to proceed.

He might be on board with you about strategizing ways to get her to sleep in her own room.. or, he might say you need to get over it. But if you want the relationship with him to work, you've got to be on the same page around child rearing. So you have to just talk it through and create a 'same page.' What to do after that, what strategies you want to try, will likely be individualized based on her personality, what motivates her, etc. etc. and what she tells you she needs in order to want to stay in her own bed. I find, with my daughter, successful strategies are ones that we tailor to her, try out, assess and revise based on success and failure.

I'll wager she's considering the identical factor approximately you. She's regularly thinking about why you ought to percentage the mattress with them at any time when you come back over, too. She likes dozing by way of him up to you do. It's OK so that you can desire human relief & touch even as dozing - why is not it OK for her to desire the identical? There's not anything abusive happening there, proper? And, she most effective will get to be there at particular instances. Can't you might have your individual time with him at the days while she's no longer there? You & your boyfriend certainly have unique evaluations on loved ones mattress & co-dozing. You will have got to come to an knowledge of one another and respectful contract in this limitation. Have you attempted knowledge his factors for who prefer those dozing preparations? Not simply the logical/floor factors, however the philosophy & emotions at the back of them. Has he performed the identical for you? You are not able to call for that he do matters your means. Especially if you have not taken the time to realize why he chooses to do matters his means. He's received to desire to difference this earlier than you'll be able to paintings in combination to make difference. Time and social stress will transfer her to a position wherein she *chooses* to sleep cut loose her father, finally. Why rush it? Childhood is so very, very brief.

First of all, I think you need to accept for yourself that this isn't your decision. You can discuss it with your boyfriend, but ultimately, you aren't the decision maker.

Second, if her mother isn't on board, then I wouldn't force the transition. She won't want to sleep with her parents forever and if they're not going to be on the same page, you're just going to make life miserable.

With those two things in mind, I would suggest a gentle gradual transition. Move her out of the bed onto a sleeping mat or futon in the room, then move her sleeping space across the room, then into the hall, then into her room and so on down the line. A friend of mine used a small tent so that the child woke up in the same environment no matter where he was sleeping and there was no middle of the night where am I panic. The final step was to set the tent up in his bed.

my 2 year old sleeps with me every night! i love it! theres nothing more comfy then sleeping next to your little princess. your bf probably feels the same way i do, but you dont find it acceptable because eventhough you want best for her, you dont have the love for her that a parent does. let her sleep there, or get her a small bed and put it in the room with you guys but in her own bed. slowly start moving her into her own room. unfortunately this would be easier to control if she were younger. now she is used to it, and will probably sleep there until she is ready to sleep on her own.

This is not something I would push. Bouncing between home is hard, especially on a 4 year old. She needs some security, and sleeping in bed with her father brings her that. Trying to force her to sleep by herself will only cause further trauma than she needs.

Let it go.

Golly...you sound a bit cold! 4 is not a "late age" and I'm British btw.

She''s insecure! Let her sleep there if your BF has no problem...the rationalle is that she has 2 homes and she feels attached to you and her Dad!