45 and not been involved in a long time?

Question

I'm a 45 female(Straight)average Weight, not super model but told I look more like 35 or( less sometimes) when " cleaned up" I have been divorced for 15 years. My children's father( they were 13  and 14 )at the time past way. Two boys. The boys went completely wild. I have not even been on a date for about 6 yrs. Largely due to my boys problems, I lost a job that I had for 10 yrs and have been unemployed for a year. Scared to death about starting a new relationship with a man, but don't want to be alone anymore. My children have aged out of the house, though not under good circumstances. How do I ease back into the dating scene comfortably without feeling judged but my past or the actions of my children? Don't tell me an online dating service please. You have to sift through 200 idiots to get to one that is even worth a consideration.

katya · Accepted Answer

First of all, it sounds like you need to do something nice for yourself. Confidence is attractive and it helps you get through the hard times. Find a hobby you have always wanted to do, but never got the chance to do when your kids were around. Hang out with friends, live a little. Realize things happen, and that you are a strong a beautiful woman.

Once those things have occured, go out and have some fun. Go out to the library. Take a walk in the park. Put yourself out there for the world to see you as who you are, not what you have been through. Once you have met a couple of people, talk and get to know them. When you feel like a connection might be evident, start out with something small like a coffee date. Show them your vibrant personality and show them that you are someone special they will never forget. In time, you may find love again.

I sure hope this helps. Good luck, and never give up.

JIGSAW · Answer

You should go to the places that attract the kind of guys you like. Like older, rich men? visit a country club. Like outgoing types? go to a bowling alley, or baseball game. You get the idea. However, If you go to bars to find men, you will end up with a man who like to be in bars all the time. Women have a lot easier time finding men, than the other way around. This is because a lot of men only want one thing.........Women, on the other hand want commitment, loyalty, togetherness, etc., and there is nothing wrong with that, im just stating a fact. Although I cannot tell you specifically where to find a man, I can tell you that you should not get too hasty, because you might end up with a real loser. Be careful.

chandra · Answer

FIRST thing to do is get out there and build a social life for yourself and let the dating thing happen naturally

Best to concentrate on yourself , your confidence and having FUN first - Lots of other people are in the same boat - Alot of people feel isolated

Try Meetup.com its really great to begin getting out there and meeting like minded people to socialise with or persue hobbies with eg walking groups etc

Then you will build up a network of contacts in time and you will get to know yourself more as well as others get to know you more

The main thing is getting out there and ENJOYING yourself , having a social life , events to look forward to - Even choosing outfits to wear and having somewhere to dress up for - Its nice!

Then the dating thing will happen naturally when you are out and about simply being yourself and enjoying yourself

Good luck :-)

Cereal Girl · Answer

Go out to coffee shops and fun places with friends. My mom is in a very similar situation, but she actually kind of met a couple guys where she works.

? · Answer

lol
I actually was going to tell you to go online...jst to get you back into the swing of things 
double dating can be fun also or call up one of your girlfriends and begin to know the crowd she hangs out with

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45 and not been involved in a long time?

5 Answers