Is it rude to send "engagement announcements" to people who are not invited to the wedding?

I think society has gotten a little too carried away on all these new traditions that require gifts. There was the bridal shower, which you have to get a gift, now there is this new engagement party event, which you should get a gift, and then the actual wedding, which you also have to get a gift. It is getting a bit greedy and ridiculous if you ask me.

You mother in law sounds like a very callous person if she is telling you to let EVERYONE know for the purpose of getting more gifts. Just because she has that character, don't stoop down to her level. If you want to let everyone know, then do it in a public forum, such as facebook or something, but don't invite anyone to an engagement party or dinner that is not going to be invited to the wedding, that is definitely rude.

It is very rude.

First off, there is no such thing sas "engagement announcements". There are wedding announcements that are sent after the nuptials, and an engagement announcement is published on the local newspaper. NEVER on a piece of paper, that is the brassiest and rudest form of solicitation.

It is a desperate and sad attempt to collect gifts from people that are not important enough to be invited to the wedding. It will rub people the wrong way to be officially snubbed from the festivities and being solicited for gifts anyway. People can see through greedy and tacky gift grabbing schemes and you will NOT get more gifts that way., quite the opposite, you will be known as "that bride" with no class or manners panhandling gifts from people that you are not inviting. Awful.

RUDE and very trashy

She's right and wrong. Yes, there is such a thing as "engagement announcements". It's something you send out to people to say "Hey, we're engaged now." type of general announcement. Some people will send gifts, some won't. It's not an opportunity to get gifts or anything like that. It's just a paper saying you are engaged and will be getting married. That way people can wish you well. It's not rude unless all you want is money and gifts. Then yes, it is rude. You can also have an engagement party along with it to formally announce your engagement to everyone. You don't have to invite everyone you're going to invite to your wedding to the party-though most do. If you don't, the engagement party is more for those friends who won't be invited to wedding but you are still close to. It's not rude or cheesy, it's how it's done.

Oh.My.God. This woman sounds dangerous. I agree it's rude to send these to people, but she must have read too many Victorian novels to think this means you get a gift. And it is WAY too soon to register! On the offchance somebody gets this and decides to gift you for some reason, then what? I can guarantee this person will expect to attend the wedding.

I hope you have a strong backbone, because this is so over the top that I suspect you're in for a long ride with this woman. If you're paying for the wedding yourself, stop talking to her about it. If she's paying all or part you may want to re-think that.

I know it sounds extreme, but she is off to a dreadful start from an etiquette standpoint, and you don't want to have a new battle every day.

I would not send engagement announcements simply to get gifts (and it probably won't work, anyway). Just send an announcement after you're married. Or let it trickle down to these third-tier friends by word of mouth that you tied the knot, which is what most people do.

You can send your announcement to your local paper. Your wedding announcement can also be sent to your paper. I wouldn't send out anything to anyone not invited.

No, not common practice.

I think expecting gifts period is rude. While they're nice to get, I think expecting them is too much. I think gift registries are ridiculous, as I consider that as expecting gifts.

I think maybe yall ought to rethink her paying for anything. Yall can pay for the rehearsal dinner as well, and then she REALLY won't have any say.

Something for you to think about..Your GROOM should be the one telling his mother no. If he isn't, do yourself a favor and DON'T marry him.

Edit: Well, having read all your other questions, you are having several issues going on, none of which he's willing to stand up against his parents, so my advice is to learn to love this and not ever complain if you choose to go ahead with this marriage.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Avy.L...

I know I sure wouldn't want to marry a Mama's Boy. You can if you want to, it's your life.

Engagement announcements are not common in the US and waste of money. Secondly it's implying that there will be a wedding invite forthcoming. If they are somewhat friends they can be told verbally, through email or by word or mouth.

BTW its really tacky that she would even mention additional gifts. If I were you I'd steer clear of you FMIL's idea of etiquette because its rude.

I have heard of wedding announcements, but never engagement announcements.

Sending it to a person who is not invited to the wedding is very rude. Your MIL is trying to collect gifts for you, and the person who will look bad is YOU, not her.

If people are not invited to your wedding, they are not close enough to receive a gift from. Your MIL can tell them of the engagement the next time she runs into them at Target.

Tell me.. what is the point of engagement announcements? It is not a common practice in N. America unless you are throwing an engagement party. You are not required to invite someone to both the engagement party and wedding, btw.

I agree with you. It is rude. Sending them an engagement announcement will only make them want to look forward to the invitation that they will never receive. So you won't be receive as many gifts as you can. Who cares? At least you're being nice and not using them.