how would you handle this with an ex?

Question

my ex took our daughter (3) to her freinds party and just cause there were no other dads there the mum said he could go if he wanted and come back later. well iwas so upset to find out her had just left her at the party without parental supervision, sure there were lots of mums but thats not the idea of the exercise.
oh and he only sees her once every 6 weeks or so and then only for a few hours. so the party was from 10.30 till 12.30, he took her at about 9.30 and was back home be 12.30 so didnt even let her stay for the whole party time. 
i am angry as i would have liked to take her myself. he only chose to see her that day instead on the next day cause of a stupid car race on tv he wanted to see.
if i say anything - he is the type to say he did nothing wrong. but i see it as leaving the child with no parent contact - he didnt even leave a phone number incase something happened.
help

Natalie · Accepted Answer

It really depends on how well you know the parent. I mean, if this is a family friend or a friend you see a lot, then leaving her there was not wrong at all. It's kinda like babysitting in a way. Especially if the mom agreed to letting her stay with no parent. Now if this is a friend from daycare/preschool and you don't know the mother well, then he's wrong and should have stayed or if he felt uncomfortable he should have just taken her and left.

Anonymous · Answer

"he did nothing wrong"

He didn't. Really, this is not 'wrong.' I have a three-year-old myself, I have thrown and attended birthday parties... Three is on the young side for a parent to bail but totally within the realm of acceptable and normal.

Just leave it. For your kid, this went down as "Daddy took me to the party!!" and not "Dad is a jerk and bailed" or "Dad made me leave early and that was awful" or anything else, so don't project those things onto it for her.

Also, it sounds like the suggestion that he leave may have been delivered in such a way as to come off as a bit "We'd _like_ you to leave"; I think my partner would've felt quite awkward, and inclined to head for the door, had it been suggested he beat it because he was a father instead of a mother. Either way -- really, nothing to "handle."

ozboz48 · Answer

If this was his time to be in charge, he made the decision.  You aren't going to like everything he decides, and I'm sure he's not going to agree with you on everything, either.

However, if you don't calm down an accept his decisions, as long as they don't place your child in danger, he is even less likely to stay involved in her life...assuming that's what you want for her.

All the best.

Anonymous · Answer

just  tell them

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how would you handle this with an ex?

4 Answers