2 cats, 2 different problems?

Question

My 2 female cats and I are moving in w/ my boyfriend and his 2 male cats.  All 4 cats are fixed.  I have 2 situations going on.

1. My older cat is a bully to my boyfriends older cat.  She actually has him afraid of her.  How can we help that problem?
2. My younger cat doesn't like to eat much when we are at the boyfriends house.  We have to force feed her at least once during the weekends when she doesn't eat for 2 days.  When I get them back to the apartment, she is fine again and back to her normal eating habits.  We are spending more and more time though at the boyfriends house so she should be gaining new habits by now.

What can we do to take care of the 2 problems?  Basically, all 4 cats are great cats.  No real fights but just the bullying and the eating problem.  Any suggestions?

Serious replies only please.

Nancy · Accepted Answer

Anita answered you properly.  The "bully" wants everyone to know he's boss and your younger cat needs to be fed away from the others because it's stressed out and scared.
This sounds like you haven't moved in 100% but are taking the cats over there to get acquainted. I think this is a good idea. Expect some fights when the pecking order gets developed. As long as they are not killing each other, it sounds like it's gonna work out.  The little one will eventually eat.
I would suggest maybe try getting them to play with each other with you, and a string toy or feather toy.  I wouldn't go for catnip because that can cause aggression.
Probably by gradually taking them over and spending time it's gonna help you.  Also another suggestion -- how about taking the scared one over without bully?  Sort of let the three meet.  And then the next time just take bully and not the scared one?
Just an idea

bloomorningglory · Answer

Good luck with the bullying.  It's the nature of the beast.  Someone will always be the dominant one.  Try to give her a safe place to use the litter box and eat and not be bothered by the other cats.  Sometimes those Feliway diffusers are helpful.  If you get stuck, ask your vet or your local humane society if they can refer you to an expert in feline behavior.  Sometimes there's nothing to do but to re-home one of the cats, if the bullying is that bad.

The other one is probably easier.  It's usually just an adjustment period.  If you were consistently at the boyfriend's house she would probably get used to being there and be comfortable enough to eat.  Hard to say for sure until they're permanently in one place or the other.

Matt_1974 · Answer

You can't make a cat like another cat. Same as you can't like everyone you meet or work with.

Just tell off the bully and give her a time out in the loo for 10 minutes immediately after she is bad.

(you must scruff her, firmly but gently and carry her back legs into the loo)

Do not force feed a cat, they can survive for days with no food. she will eat when she is happy with her surroundings. constant moving will stress her.
Matt :)

Anita · Answer

The older cat is bullying the others to let them know he rules the roost. The cat that doesn't want to eat at your boyfriends, is stressed. Try feeding her canned food, away from the others, and see if she doesn't eat better. Very important for a cat to eat everyday. They can get liver  (fatty liver disease).

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2 cats, 2 different problems?

4 Answers