My 18 year old son broke down crying because his girlfriend of 3 years left him. What can I do to help him?

I don't know that there is anything you can do to ease his pain other than to let him know that you feel his pain with him, that you have been there yourself in the past are you are there for him. It's a bitter situation and he is really only something that time can deal with. If he has some mates maybe they can help him and take him out somewhere that is enjoyable but not too active or that requires his undivded attention and agility. In an ideal situation you'd like to be able to tell him that time will heal things and that what he is dealing with now are just feelings and not necessarily 'love'. The cold truth is that he is feeling for himself and that he has lost something that he thought was his to keep. 'love' or more to the point the feelings attached to relationships are like that and the sonner he understands that you never truely own someone the sooner he will learn to better cope in such situations. I know that sounds harsh and that it may not offer a magic wand solution but that is sadly how it is. Try to explain to him the different kinds of love as in that of 'blood family' which in my opinion is the only true form of love as it more typically stands the test of time, vs that of 'choice love' which is much more fickle and often times less enduring, as you son is learning. If you can't get that across to him then just let him feel that you are there for him when others may not be. Best wishes.

Hey, so unfortunately I had the exact same situation, only that I am a girl. We were also together for 3 years and one day he just told me bye bye and I just left proudly but I got home and cried in front of my parents, I was also 18. The thing is, you should try and encourage him to forget about her cause she's obviously found someone else, and to keep telling him that life is still ahead and he's going to find someone sooo much better. Something very important is that you talk to him a lot, it doesn't have to be about that but just distract him in any possible way. My mom really helped me cause she was taking me to cinema, or just out for a coffee, and you should encourage him to get out more with friends. It will take some time, trust me, but just don't let him think about her or if he does tell him that she doesnt deserve him thinking about her when she's done something to hurt him.

Just be prepared that it's going to take a while, wish you best of luck, hope he gets better soon!

You sound like such a caring father, he's lucky. This is one of those times when you have to sit back and let it take it's course. He's young, there will be plenty more girls out there and in time he'll wonder why he was so upset. But for now, telling him there are more fish in the sea won't help. First loves can be very hard to get over.

But as he waiting to transfer to university, its a great opportunity for him to start over when he gets there. He will miss her for a while to come but he will meet lots of new people where he's going and really his life is just beginning.

The best thing you can do is just be there for him as you already have done through this difficult time. It'll soon get easier.

Its very common to have a young adult cope like this after a break up. It's great that you and your wife are being as supportive as possible with him. It sounds like this relationship meant a lot to him. It's important to explore his depressive thoughts, in case he has any suicidal thoughts. That can be scary but very important to assess with him. If he is willing try and see if he will talk to a therapist or counselor to help him process his feelings and thoughts. If he wants he can call the Boys Town National Hotline, our counselors deal with these kinds of issues all the time. As well as you and/or your wife if you need someone to talk to or to help with resources. The number is 1-800-448-3000, they are available 24/7 to help. It's a tough road but your doing a great job being there for him. Just listen to what he is saying and not saying to help him. They also have a teen website that might help www.yourlifeyourvoice.org. and for you guys www.parenting.org might have some additional ideas for ways you can help.

Best of Luck

Counselor BJ

Encourage him to get out of the house and hang out with his friends. Peer pressure might be helpful in this situation, if his friends aren't terrible young lads (i.e partying all the time, sleeping around, any other bad morals). The only thing you could do right now is to tell him that he's young and there are going to be other women and eventually one will be his wife. It sounds cliche.

I think you did all you can do for him. Just be there if he wants to talk or cry some more. Encourage him to go out with friends and YES to move on. Your wife shouldn't be telling him to call her. That would be terrible. He needs to get over her, not stalk her.

i recently had a break up of my own. My parents made things a bit easier for me around the house, but it was (for me) the most important thing was that they just let me be. I appreciate them a lot for that and understanding that i just needed time to myself and figure things out. Your son may need the same, and maybe he'll gradually open up to his friends and to you.

well first of all be proud you have raised an emotive young man who can come to you in times of need

its so hard when your child goes through their first heartbreak

as we have all been in their shoes, and hate to see our child in pain

the first few days feel like the end of the world

but with some patience and TLC we get through it

and so will he

just keep doing what you are doing, and he will come out the other side

and he will always remember you helped him

one day he will be the father, standing at his childs side, going through the same

happens to us all, and it sucks

but we all pull through and so will he

He'll get over it. Just check on him periodically offering fun things to do.. The only thing that can heal him is time.

behave like a friend say her that she is not the only girl their are many girls if she get a other boy friend than why don't he get a other girl friend,