How to deal with a problematic child?

Question

I run a free summer program for children 6-12, and I am having a difficulties with one of the regular attendees and I was wondering what advice this forum has to offer.

Kiana who is 10 years old, has been a really good spirited child this year and last year. However, in the last 2 weeks, she has become a real handful. She's become really desperate for attention. She complains about activities, refuses to participate, yells, bullies one of the autistic children, and generally attempts to be annoying and disrespectful. I tried to pull her aside and try to talk to her and see what was up, but this result her becoming annoyed and now refusing to talk.

She has a few followers in our group and it is becoming harder to deal with them. More alarmingly, today she made references to suicide, though I doubt she actually intends it, I don't know if I should treat it seriously or as an attention grab. 

I don't wish to ban her, but it is becoming one of the only options available. Does anyone have any suggests for constructive ways to deal with Kiana to keep her as part of the group?

boystownhotline · Accepted Answer

It is great that you are reaching out for help.  You are a huge influence on these kids that are in your care--and it may help for you to talk to the Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000.  We have counselors available 24/7 and we talk to kids/teens and parents about a wide variety of issues.  Call us and talk about ways to help her with her behaviors and help her to deal with the references to suicidal thoughts/feelings.  Take care and reach out to us when you get the chance.  Counselor KJ

? · Answer

A sudden change in behavior can be a symptom of serious issues, such as sexual abuse, at home. Recently an 11 yo New Hampshire girl went missing. Everyone says she was very sweet spirited and quiet, always respectful and hard working. Now, as they get more details they find out that for the past two weeks she's been making inappropriate posts on Facebook, and starting to have behavioral problems. Today, at 10:30 they found her body. It appears she was abused, and I'm going to guess probably sexually by whoever killed her. Three weeks ago, she was a different person. Today she's dead.

Talking about suicide is a very serious issue. She could also be developing Bi-Polar disorder, or some other serious mental health problem. 10 is younger than the usual onset for that, but it can happen even younger. It's not necessarily abuse, but don't put your head in the sand and pretend it's OK.

Talk to CPS if you think there could be a problem.

Also, not to be unkind, but if you're going to run a children's program, you should get training in this kind of thing. Check with your CPS or DFACS office to see if there are any local courses available. For your own safety and the safety of the children you serve you should get this kind of training.

Honeybee · Answer

Sit down and talk to her as if she were an adult, treat her like your equal. Something is obviously going on and she needs guidance, try talking to her like you're friends so she can confide in you. Ask her parents if something is going on at home that maybe causing her to act this way.

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How to deal with a problematic child?

3 Answers