Cry it out method and separation anexiety?

By picking him up every time he cries for you, you are teaching him that all he has to do is cry to get his way. When my son was doing this, I would just let him cry it out. It was hard not to give in, but a few times of just leaving him to cry, he stopped doing that. When I was ready to pick him up I would but never if he was throwing a tantrum to get his way. You should try giving your son and his dad some alone time together without you there. Not only is it a chance for you to get away and get some alone time, it is time for your son and his dad to get to know one another. Hope that helps good luck!

There is a wonderful book called the "No cry sleep solution" look for it on Amazon-it's wonderful. The author talks about several things you can do to foster good sleep habits and help them fall asleep on their own using gentle methods. She also writes about realistic sleep expectations. Babies will wake up at least once during the first year. You definitely should go in and figure out why they are crying. They may be hungry, or need a diaper change, or they may just be lonely. What you are doing is not CIO though. We do rock our 3 month old to sleep. However we are starting to lay him down when he is about to go to sleep-we put him in his crib and just rub his tummy until he falls asleep. He doesn't cry, if he does we pick him up and start over. He sleeps well-the first time he wakes up in the night (usually after 5-6 hours, we bring him into bed). So far he has had no problems with sleeping on his own. He naps well also.

If your son already has seperation anxiety, making him "cry it out" will make it even WORSE.

What you might try is, one night, have his dad read him a story, sing him a song, usual bedtime routine (the exact same routine as usual), but you're standing nearby. Then gradually over time, you move further away, until you're not in the room. That might help.

EDIT: Okay, I'll spell it out.

Imagine you are a very small child barely capable of walking or communicating.

That man who now lives in your house was never there before, so you're strongly attached to your mummy because you're terrified one day she will leave like that man did and she won't come back.

Now imagine you're scared of the dark, and crying for your mummy.

And crying.

And crying.

And she doesn't come.

Your worst fears have come true. Mummy has abandoned you! Mummy isn't coming back! You're all alone!

Yeah, so obviously the crying it out method works, not.

I never believed in the cry it out method. Im older (42) and my kids are grown and all are just fine. They cried, I went to them. I wanted them to have the security that if they needed me, I was there - no matter what. You CAN NOT spoil a baby. I dont care what anyone says. Yes it teaches them that when they cry you will come. THATS A GOOD THING. It lets them realize they can count on you. A baby doesnt have the brain power to learn to "use" that. They only know they need comfort for some reason. If one of my kids cried longer than 5 minutes, I was there. If it was a REAL cry and not just the whiney "Im barely awake" noise I was there instantly. All but one of mine slept through the night by 3 mos. The one that didnt? Had epilepsy and had night seizures so his crying WAS a "cry" for help tho we didnt know it. Should I have let him "cry it out"????

I hope that this is helpful but all I'll do is share my experience. My son was very clingy and I thought giving him more distance would make him used to it. Then it occurred to me how sincerely upset he was and I took the opposite view and approach. I figured that if someone needs something and they don't get it they try harder and since he was a fairly heavy baby everyone wasn't as keen to carry him as much as light babies probably got carried. So I committed myself to carrying him around more and he ended up okay. I can't recall the transition but it didn't seem to hurt.

If he's rejecting dad I'd make sure that I didn't encourage it but I would sure that he spent a lot of time with both of you until he adjusted.