Last week, Hubby said he didn't feel well?

Everyone is so eager to tell us what we're supposed to do or feel at all times, especially with our life-long relationship with a spouse. My husband and I are completely comfortable going in for surgery or testing or whatever without having the other at their side. If we need the other, then we'll be there but if not, then we're just a phone call away-no biggie. We go in when the other is being released to take them home.

God bless you and your Hubby. He already has by giving both of you some one to stay with for this long. that is a true blessing in these days. My condolences about your son, what a terrible thing to have to go thru. I am truly sorry.

Your hubby doesnt want to cause you undue stress. And he just may be one of these ppl who hates to see some one worrying and fussing over him , there are ppl like that.

There are phones to keep in touch.

Of course it depends on whether you worry more not seeing and knowing first hand by being there, (sometimes it can be very nerve racking to be waiting for a phone call).. or whether you get more anxious by being there... (IT may stress him out even more to see you worry)..

BUT in any case, this is NO ONES business, really, but yours and his.

I will give you and him a caution, though.

Years ago when my husband had a chain saw accident and I drove him to the hospital, (a nervous wreck)... the doctor gave us both holy heck..

After stitching up the injury, that doctor said it is a very dangerous thing to try to drive yourself, or a loved one, to the hospital if they are injured or feeling unwell.

He explained that more often than he liked to see, the ambulance is called to the scene of an auto accident. SOme one had a medical crisis while driving. Or the person rushing to get him there, got involved in an accident. Or even if some one else happened to hit you by pure accident, or your vehicle broke down on the way....... what then????? Think of all the things that could have happened to your husband, driving alone 14 miles while not feeling good???????

He said to remember and to spread the word to PLEASE call an ambulance if you need to get to the hospital as an urgent care. My friend had what she thought was a terrible migrane like nothing she ever felt, seeing odd lights and wicked pain. No migrane. SHe was having a stroke. SO as you can never be sure whats wrong or how serious it is, call that ambulance. I know its something we hate to do, but very important. Todays ambulances are also like rolling hospitals that can start treatment immediately. Sometimes just seconds matter in saving a life. Also they cut thru traffic and get there MUCH faster than a car can. ANd remember how those seconds can count. Good luck, take care and God bless.

Please dont worry so much about what others think. If they are that concerned, let them go sit with him. The Native Americans have a saying about not to criticize anyone until they have walked a mile in their moccasins. They dont know what your hubby wants. YOU do. HE does. You understand one another,. Thats it. (I would not have the nerve to make that comment to anyone. I would know that its none of my business. I might ask if you or he needed any help or visitor.

Another comment.. my Mom used to like me to go with her as even though her memory was very fine, she said she would get nervous and was afraid she would not remember something important that the doctor said. "two heads are better than one" I believe she would say.. so we all do handle it different, just a thought to mention.. do what works for both of you.

So sorry to hear about your son.

I understand, seems your husband really wants to protect you from more upset.

At least he was calling you and giving you updates on his situation.

I am sure if needed you would of ran to the hospital to be with him.

My husband was once admitted into the hospital for some tests on his heart. He drove himself to the hospital on his way home from work and never even called me to let me know what he was up to.

I waited for over 8 hours for him to come home. He never even called me and I was worried to death.

He said very calmly that what could I do anyways since I am not a doctor.

That did upset me that he didn't even call or let the nurse call me up.

I had several family members who died in hospitals so perhaps he was thinking on the same lines as your husband was.

Hope all goes well with your husbands health, take care.

I understand and sympathize completely. There's not much you can do to make them understand. Your husband is very understanding and thoughtful, as my late wife was in a similar situation. She said there wasn't anything I could do, I would make her feel better if she new I was taking care of the house!! I did not know what to tell people and don't know what you should say. Perhaps, "he said I should stay home and take care of things here".

Good luck to both of you.

I'm so sorry to hear all this Monty, you already have some good comments on here so all I would like to add is don't worry about what other folk think, as long as you and your hubby understand each other then that is all that matters.

Take care and best wishes to you both and Many Congratulations on that forthcoming 50th anniversary.

its not to reason why. it is between you and your husband and case closed. sounds mean but they ought to know you both enough by now to not question why all the time. by the way, he realizes that you are in need of your rest and tranquility even if you are worried at least you can lie down or do something for you are no help to him when he is in the hospital. i am so sorry for your loss and too i am like you very nervous about the unknown and right now he is worried about your safety and security. he knows that all you will do at the hospital is fret. that will make you sick too. he cares a great deal for you and i send my best regards for your 50th anniversary. you must be a very special Love to him and he to you. hang in there kid we all will make it through the troubled times and good times are still ahead.my best wishes and prayers to you and your love.

There's no 'Soft' way to say this.

The memory of you poor son is clearly a painful and traumatic memory.

However, what you MUST consider is, if your man pressed you not to be there next time He's admitted and God, forbid, something happens, and you're not there..? Can you imagine how you are going to feel..? You'll spend the rest of your life beating yourself up over that.

So, no, bite the bullet about you being there and talk it over and agree make it so you both agree that you need to be there.

unless you can feel him there's no way for him to feel the baby, he's just getting excited and feeling things lol. but just wait it'll happen soon.

That's between you and your husband. If he understands you, and apparently he does, you are both fine. It's nobody else's business.

If you and he don't tell people, they won't know to ask.

If someone asks, tell them that he just went for some tests and didn't think you needed to be there. Then drop it.

He loves you too much to see you worry and wait. Use to be when I went to the hospital I wanted my wife there. Then I saw what it was doing to her, and would not tell her because she was scared. He loves you more than ever, I think you understand. God bless and keep you.