Are my Conservativese to English translations correct?

Most of them seem to be perfectly correct to me, except the fifth one.

I would have translated that as:

"We'll help you by helping the "Job Creators"." / (We will give tax breaks to our rich friends.)

But then I'm translating into British-English, not American-English.

I think that some interviewers & news-reporters could do with a copy of your Conservativese to English Dictionary.

We'll fix entitlements.- We will stop the Federal looting of the Trust Funds and allow alternative plans that people can choose if they want to.

We'll lower taxes on everyone.- Not accurate. We will only lower taxes on people who pay them.

We'll win the hearts and minds of Iraqis and Afghans.- True. Our beef isn't with the citizens of these nations but with the leadership and/or terrorists among them.

We'll help you stand on your own two feet.- All Americans have a duty to A) help people to become self reliant and B) to do everything in their power to not be a burden on others.

We'll help you by helping the "Job Creators".- We will get the obstacles placed there by the Federal Government and their Bureaucrats out of your way and allow you to do what you do best, pursue happiness as you define it.

"God is on our side." - We do not oppose humanity. We oppose humanism. This nation is founded on the principle that all men are created equal and endowed by God with unalienable rights. These rights do not come from any government of man nor can they be removed by any government of man. The American trinity is:

E pluribus unum = Out of many, one.

In God we trust

Liberty

God is on our side. We are one nation under God. In God we trust. What part of this don't you get?

*

No, they are not correct

"We'll fix entitlements." / We will eliminate waste and fraud and attempt to save the programs that are Constitutional.

"We'll lower taxes on everyone." / We will lower taxes to spur economic growth

"We'll win the hearts and minds of Iraqis and Afghans." / This one is as it states.

"We'll help you stand on your own two feet." / (We'll punish you if you try to sit down and depend on others to support you.)

"We'll help you by helping the "Job Creators"." / By easing some useless regulations and keeping taxes at a reasonable level, we will work to help spur the economy

"God is on our side." / Not all conservatives are believers, so this one is just a flat out fabrication on your part.

Unfortunately 1 and 3 are as incorrect as the others.

Excellent.

Your parents must be proud, how long have you been out of the institution anyway.

Good job! Yes. I see you worked hard(made passive income) to become a job creator(well off person who doesn't care about you or me) like a true american patriot(white republican).

Dear Yahoo User,

You are excellent! Well done! Doggy gives you an A!

Sincerely,

Adorable Doggy

The fact you have a hate level that makes you spend time on this makes me doubt your sanity. I bet you are one of those fat losers on X factor.

Conservativese doesn't exist. You're wasting your money on this "class".