Do you like this story idea?

Sorry for my bad english Or grammar, im going To write this on my languange. Im only 14. I just wanna make sure my idea worths it. Its fantasy adventure type, about sea, myth creatures, demons, guardians, steampunk style. I had this idea yesterday so here it goes:

Long time ago, a guardian created a world made of peace, pure and all the Good things there were.

She created us, humans and she lOved us so much that all she Ever wanted was To let us live forever with her.

Those were only dreams. We quickly learned the feeling angry, then sadness, so as revenge, hurt and other bad feelings of ours. We started To get evil and out of control.

The guardian forgived our sins and grabbed everything that was bad inside of us ( as i already said The sadness, hurt, angry, etc...), created a portal To another world, and locked everything bad of us inside of it.( she locked the portal as well) (sorry if its confusing).

Years passed, and unfortunatly, our guardian got weaker and weaker and died. Her soul didnt want To leave us, so, her bright soul went To the sky, and the moon was created, and everyday when it gets dark, she illuminates the sky.

(...) humans started To die as well and Their souls went To the sky, allways near the guardian, so the stars were created.

( most of things must be keeped has a mystery, please dont get bothered if you dont understand)

FinallY: the portal To the other world, the world of our dark feelings, broke, and everything got messy, and confused, instead we getting Back has the normal humans ( full of bad feelings with only some Good feelings), others species were created. Some of them kept beeing pure, others changed, others became monsters ( and demons). No longer it was a peace world, everyone feared everyone. This IS what i have so far. Im so sorry for the bad grammar and english as well. Any questions, just ask gently xp. Did you understand? Did you liked it? Remember this IS just the legend. The TRue adventure story isnt this one!