Can a husband dictate toilet paper usage in a Christian household?

No disrespect sister Pittman, but why as a dedicated and baptized sister are you posting this on Yahoo Answers for the world to see?

You're literally hanging your laundry out to dry... Intimate apparel and all.

You KNOW the Bible's teachings, commands and principals... So why?

You absolutely, positively CANNOT divorce your husband unless you have SCRIPTURAL grounds to do so no matter how much he presently annoys the crap outta you... Period.

Likewise, you absolutely, positively CANNOT separate from your husband unless you have SCRIPTURAL grounds to so, no matter how much he presently annoys the crap outta you... Period.

You married him, you chose him above all others for better or FOR WORSE and you have to deal with it.

The happy part is that you don't have to "deal with it" alone. Utilize the aid of the Christian congregation, ESPECIALLY the body of elders but above all, please ALLOW Jehovah through Christ to assist you in accord to God's Word.

Does your hubby have "control issues", it would seem so from what you're stating, but there is always 3 sides to every story, our side, the other person's side and the Truth. One thing is for certain, I'm NOT going to speak against your God appointed head even as David didn't speak harmful against crazy acting King Saul when he had more than sufficient reason to do so.

Yeppers, I do live in New Jersey, I'm one of Jehovah's "Jersey Girls". :-P

Anyway, I love ya sis, you're obviously going through crazy tough times that are very stressful, but I am simply stating to you what you KNOW is Truth. That's the side that I'm on. I'm not on your side, your husbands side or your kids side, I'm on the side of the Truth and I want you to stay on the side of the Truth because Jehovah does.

Ciao and agape!

*** EDIT @ sister 'Pittman' who stated in response... And I quote:

"'m scared of him and he forces me to look at him, twists my head, slaps my face, drags me around the house making me sit here and there, etc.

I posted here cause contacts can get around blocks. I can't use phone or leave except to walk (no car). I ask for elders help by posting notes on KH door.

The divorce without intent to remarry is probably the only safe option for me."

As already stated sister, as a dedicated and baptized member of the unified worldwide Christian congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses you are (or should be) well aware of what God's written infalibble Word the holy Bible reveals, shows and teaches when it comes to His people through Christ DIVORCING and or SEPARATING.

From what you have stated and shown here you would have a case of SEPARATING from your husband in the eyes of God Almighty, but you don't have one for DIVORCE... Period.

You can divorce if you so choose as far as the way in which those of the world view divorce, but it's not going to fly with Jehovah. During the 1st century the world power of that time (Rome) had all kinds of laws and legal precedences concerning marriage, but our Christian counterparts were concerned about God's views through Christ. It is no different today during this time of the present ruling world power (Anglo-America).

The Truth of the matter, whether you like it or not is that you presently DON'T have a leg to stand on as far as DIVORCING your husband is concerned. Jehovah our Father HATES unscriptural DIVORCING and I'm not going to sugar coat it, water it down or anything else because what you're personally going through is extremely hard. For better or FOR WORSE.

Do not mislead yourself into thinking that DIVORCE (without intent to remarry) is the ONLY safe option for you. Our God specializes in making the impossible POSSIBLE. Do things JEHOVAH'S way (Proverbs 3:5-7). Don't "post notes" on the KH door. GO TO THE ELDERS and TELL THEM (with your MOUTH) WHAT'S GOING ON! No one said that either marriage or being one of Jehovah's people is easy, but you have to do the very BEST within your imperfect ability to do things JEHOVAH'S way and putting "notes" on the KH door in order to get the elders help and attention is NOT it.

I love you sis, and I would hope that you would be THIS strong with me or anyone of us if we were in error.

Dear girl i am almost in tears reading this .. This is not the way the head of a family treats his wife .. You are not a slave nor some kind of a robot to be told what you can and cannot buy for your household .. What manner of a man can say he is man and yet disrespect his mate in such an awful way .. I know we are not supposed to leave except under infidelity but your sanity is under attack not to mention your health... I am well aware that our Creator knows what you are going through and i can't help but wonder at what point he would tell you to leave .. I can only support you through words and prayer , you have both... It is not a good idea to let anyone destroy your mind or body weather that is your husband or wife ... For the sake of both i would leave temporarily until your husband understands that his role as your mate does not give him the right to drive you insane ! I believe Jehovah would forgive your act of self preservation so that you could continue on your chosen path... Your husband is not acting rationally , and until he does he cannot be a christian man in any sense of the word ... A woman is a gift from our Creator to man , and is to be treated as such ... any other path for a man will bring dishonor to him , and him alone .

Okay Debs, breath... BREATH...

Firstly, everybody KNOWS we girls use five times the amount of toilet paper men do; plus you have girls right? Without being crude, men don't even "dab" (and you don't dab with one square or it pretty much disintegrates in your fingers, you have to have a little wad) they "tap and go". Yep, tap and tuck it all back in and off they go.

I remember an AWAKE not too long ago on money issues and it made the point that arguements about money are never JUST about money - they are always about control and security and fear. I myseld am as tight as a fist because I grew up feeling very insecure (and very poor) result, I'll not spend a dime if I can help it - I'd just put all my money in a bank so I can feel better. Can you imagine me and someone that spends to feel happy. Bottom line, as will probably cme out in when you talk with the brothers , you gotta deal with the stuff that is pushing you both to feel so stressed and then maybe the toilet paper ration can be relaxed.

Bubble bath, chocolate... BREATH .. seriously you have a lot on your plate but your marriage is your ship and harbour, you got to keep it in good repair or the whole lot will go down. kids, cats, toilet paper and all... find out where the real leak is and I think your guy will feel less out of control. One day you'll all laugh at the day the toilet paper was rationed.

PS why this in the word play section?

Sorry you're going through this Debbie. I assume that he claims to be a brother if the elders are going to speak to him. Let's see if he's man enough to own up to his behavior in front of them. What you're living with is abuse, clear and simple. No husband has the right to control his wife like that.

It sounds like you've been able to retain your self esteem through all this. That's a good thing. If you look where you want, or sit somewhere he doesn't want you to, does he resort to physical abuse? If so, you would definitely have grounds to separate from him. If the kids have been brainwashed by him, you may have to make the painful decision to go on your own. At least you would have peace.

As far as divorce is concerned, a person can get a legal divorce, if it is necessary to separate property or settle other issues. But you would not be free to remarry unless the Scriptural requirements were met. I pray the brothers can give you the help you need. You're in our prayers.

When I read about weird &/or dominating behavior in a person, I always wonder

what an accurate evaluation of the person's actual brain function would reveal;

whether they have always had such tendencies, or if such behavior came on gradually, or suddenly.

Lack of reasoning ability can be brought on by injury,which can be caused by a tiny stroke or aneurysm.

Or it can be a disability that the person is born with . . .and so can persaverative behavior which oft stems from it.

When such ones are expected to be adults & left in charge of things on their own, they rarely make wise decisions. Immature decisions made in the adult world often are looked upon as weird, instead of simply immature . . . and I always wonder . . . I definitely believe he needs help of some kind.

?There are *8* cats that are *not trained to use the cat-box?*

I would think that the Health Department & Child Welfare would raise at least an eye, to that!

Of course, the Christian view of headship neither suggests nor condones the behavior you describe. IF he is training your children to be abusive to you (anti-social behavior), it should concern the Child Welfare Department, too.

As you know, there is a lot we can't tell from here, such as the attitude behind the behaviors. But, if the situation is harming your spirituality, either legal seperation or divorce without intent to remarry another, may be your best option.

I'm truly sorry to hear that you're 'in such a pickle', and hope that the situation is rectified soon!

"What Does Headship in Marriage Really Mean?"

- Headship as Defined by God

- 'She Is Your Partner'

http://watchtower.org/e/200801c/article_01.htm

"Man & Woman---Made for Each Other"

- A *Dignified* Role for Each

http://watchtower.org/e/20070115/article_01.htm

"When Marital Disagreements Arise"

- Assessing the Situation

- Three Steps to Defusing an Argument

- 'Pay Attention to How You Listen'

- Listening and Insight

- Aim to Resolve, Not to Win

- What You Can Do Now

http://watchtower.org/e/20050601/article_01.htm

here are numerous reasons why a once committed relationship would degenerate to one partner asking for a divorce. how to save your marriage https://tr.im/oQQRX

It could have been:

- an affair

- having been separated by a long distance for lengths of time

- conflict

- behavioral issues or psychological problems of one spouse

- even unmanaged addictions.

Whatever of these problems may be what is seen on the surface, the bottom line is that usually, barring any abuse or psychological problems that are best handled by a professional, a couple find themselves in danger of divorce when there is a loss of:

- communication,

- love

- and intimacy

in the marital relationship.

I wrote you a long answer and then Yahoo was "unavailable" and so it didn't post. So here I go again. First of all, I had a feeling when I wasn't hearing your wonderful expressions of your letter writing that something wasn't quite right. I was even going to write you to ask if you were ok.

Of course, your husband has real control issues but more than that, sounds like he is crying out for help! He is very insecure I can see. Does he want the meeting with the elders? You know, they can only help if both people really want it. And even with that it is limited. I know you told me before that he seldom went to the meetings. This is a big problem in itself. "IF" he would consider a family study with an elder and his wife all together, that would probably help you a great deal! So, pray on that and talk about it to him.

Does he say why he is grabbing your face and asking you to face him? Like I said, sounds like he is being neglected and insecure.

The toilet paper thing is just a smoke screen to other issues. A little humor: you could say you will go to rags if he is willing to wash them out, lol Naturally, you can get some at the .99 store.

Regarding high blood pressure; I have heard from many people that have got on a low sodium diet along with exercise and it went to normal. Maybe you both could walk together. Have you tried that? Then you could start talking to each other more, while you are on your walk. Here is a link for an excellent BP complex that is all natural:

http://www.botanicchoice.com/Blood-Pressure/

Also, I would highly recommend this book and workshop for your marriage. It helps you both to communicate effectively.

http://gettingtheloveyouwant.com/

You know that Jehovah HATES a divorcing so really think about that. And, if he is a brother, you want to save him, even if he was a casual friend you would feel that way. Getting a divorce isn't always the best answer either.

8 cats cannot be good for your health. Even if you never had allergies to them, you can develop one. I put my one cat in the garage and only allow her in the house for a few hours at a time. You might want to try that and make sure you use that spray they sell on-line for cat dander.

Keep praying and make sure you both have some sort of hobbies that get you out of the home. Stay as active as possible in the ministry.

Take care...Agape & Philia,

The Zebra!

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The Bible permits separation from your marriage partner if he (1) does not provide sustenance for you. (2) His violent behaviour threatens your life or your health (3) or hinders your spiritual well being. If you separate for any of this reasons you cannot file for a divorce.The only way you can get a divorce, that is appropriate in the eyes of Jehovah, is by adultery being the basis. Matthew 5:32. I would recommend that you first try to get some kind of marriage counseling. I believe that your problem is not the toilet paper. You have other major problems that you need to deal with. Keep reaching out for help. Jehovah Bless.

I'm glad you told the elders so they can talk with him. You can get coupons or go to a cheaper store to buy toilet paper. Toilet paper isn't expensive at all. I live alone and can afford it so it is by no means expensive! You could also try to find a job...even if it's part time. That money is YOURS and you can buy tissues and toilet paper...whatever you want!

sister I agree with mindy 100 percent. this is something that should not be on here for others who dislike Jehovah Witnesses to have something more to tell lies about us. our husbands are the head of the house but that is too much. I knew this brother when he wife was alive, he would not let her answer the phone and when he called my house and I answer the phone he would get upset with me. if he did not like some food she was not allowed to eat that food either