How could grandparents be so cruel?

My first question would be what does your husband say about the situation? If he concurs with you on this, then my advice is to move away -- literally and figuratively -- from these people! But again, what is your husband's input? We are talking about his parents and sibling here! Is he ready to move away from them? Or is this YOUR decision?

If you and the Hubby are on the same page with this, then just lose the parents! They are gone! No more problems with them; no more your kids get shorted; no more anything! They are just gone from your lives! Move on. Possibly find jobs in a different area if this is feasible. Do everything you can to move away from these folks!

However, if your husband wants to salvage a relationship with his family, then go along with that. (And I am assuming that you really love the man!) Let him lead the way to dealing with them. You can let the slights just roll off your back like water on a duck's back. And you can protect your children from any slight by the grandparents. This may all equal out in the long run.

Do the absolute best that you can do for your family in this. In the long run, you will be rewarded!

In no way am I saying your in-laws are right, because they arent, but in just the same way you have a protective instinct about your children aka your babies, they also have that same "rose colored view" of their child aka their baby girl (even though shes supposed to be all grown up and acting responsibly). This is just a fact of life regarding parenthood. The bottom line is that family is important and your in-laws are probably more set in their ways and less likely to embrace change or to see the situation objectively so if you want to mend this relationship, you and hubby will probably have to accept that fact (whether right or wrong) and will need to suck it up a little and bite your tongue when it comes to your sister in law. Its likely that any negative comments about her serve no purpose but to alienate them (whether intentional or not) and in a way almost point a finger at their not-so-perfect parenting skills so there could be some undertones of guilt/blame that need to be avoided altogether here if you want to get along.

If it were me, I would purposely go over there (you and hubby, no kids), letter in hand and say "hey we need to talk about this because whether or not we agree, we still love you and want a relationship with you and we dont want our kids growing up with grandparents 5 miles away that dont speak to them...how can we resolve this so that our whole family doesnt suffer?"

Next step...hear them out and ask them what they feel you should be doing to correct the situation. You might be surprised that they dont even have a good answer. I suspect this all boils down to hurt feelings, protective instinct and a little defensiveness in the parenting department so tread lightly and find a way to work it out. If they are completely unwilling to work this out for you then maybe theyre doing your kids a favor by removing themselves and their bullheaded influence out of your children's lives. Kids are resillient and as long as you and hubby are giving them what they need at home, they will be ok in spite of this if it comes down to it. Just dont let these issues bleed over into your own parenting. We cant be responsible for someone elses poor behavior/choices.

And yes, I agree with the prev poster, keep every door open and continue to send them cards from the kids etc so that you can set the better example for your children. Let them see that you as a family will not let this take away from who you are.

Honesty is the best policy. Tell them an age-appropriate version of what you said here. Try not to talk badly about the grandparents in the event of a reconciliation. But you and your husband and your kids are better off right now without his parents.

I even have been questioning the comparable factor. ... My grandmother is generally the 1st guy or woman I turn to if i could paintings and my daughter can not bypass to college or daycare. Assuming she isn't showing any signs and indications of ailment, i could probable nevertheless deliver her there if her college have been given closed down because of contemporary flu scare. reason being that we are dwelling interior the comparable city. We save on the comparable save and our docs places of work are top next to a minimum of one yet another. rather - thinking her popular conduct (various healthcare expert visits on the grounds that her coronary heart surgical operation, some in a lots larger city) i think of my grandmother could probable be uncovered to it until now my daughter. If my grandmother have been the style to consistently stay homestead and/or lived further away, i could attempt to barter a paintings from homestead deal or substitute hours. yet while it comes all the way down to it - some human beings can not have the money for to omit each and every week of paintings mutually as college is closed, and that they don't have everyone else they believe to video exhibit their young ones. I won't blame them for sending their young ones to the grandparents. yet there are distinctive issues you may evaluate until now determining if it may be spreading the flu to a greater susceptible inhabitants. not cruel. in basic terms a call that needs to be made with care.

Well if I was in your kid's situation (I'm 17, so I'm trying to give you the best advice possible), I would want to know the truth. You and your family deserve SO much better than this nonsense. Me and my family went through a similar situation. Don't make up stories, it'll only hurt your children in the future. I hope things get better for you guys.

You tell them they don't hate them that the grandparents are angry at you. Let them know that it is grown up problems and when you get it fixed things will be back to normal. Some times it is best not to say to much some children can't understand grown up problems and trying to explain can confuse them more. Good luck

Sounds like the parents are just like you said, in denial. They are enabling her to live how she is living and due to their parenting she is the way she is. She sounds very manipulative and immature, which sounds like the apple didn't fall far from the tree. To be honest as a mom, I would be grateful to have them out of my life! Especially since it would protect my kids from being made to feel inferior. Sometimes people act ways that we don't understand, but in your case it sounds like a blessing in disguise!

sigh......

well, there's always favorites in families. Your sister-in-law is the favorite. As they see it, your family is neglecting her by not helping her. I guess that's why they're rejecting your whole family because of this.

You can tell the kids that there's a big misunderstanding and they're angry right now.

Wow ur children shouldnt be at fault. Dont fall into their childish games. For everytime they dont send you a christmas card....send them one from ur kids. Hope things get better especially for kids.

Don't even try. Make a life for your family and whatever you do "Don't lower yourself to their level by even acknowledging their cruel remarks and treatment of your family".