how much irresponsible behavior should parents tolerate from teens? this included es money management.,?

1) You can't control their every move so only impose rules that you CAN and WILL enforce. The best rules that you can have are 'house rules'. House rules include; appropriate behaviour while in your home (no sex in the house or partying), appropriate ways to treat others (don't wake up parents by being loud at night, speak respectfully...etc) and curfew.

2) Your children shouldn't have any bills that NEED to be paid. What could they possibly have at that age? If it's a cell phone in a contract under your name, cancel the contract and let them have a pay as you go instead. That would be the ONLY bill I can think of that a teen should ever be responsible to pay. Anything else is theirs to deal with on their own.

3) Learn to let go and let them clean up the mess. Why would you bail them out of anything? Let them face the music otherwise they won't ever learn what the consequences really are. If a teacher confronts you about your child simply explain that in their classroom they are free to give whatever consequences they see fit for your child's actions, however, those are not your actions so it is your child that they need to address, not you. I can see trying to work with a parent while the child is young but as a teenager they need to step up and deal with their own problems. If they fail, oh well I guess they repeat it.

Now tell me honestly, doesn't it feel nice to, even just for a moment, consider what life could be like if you just stopped taking on all of your child's responsibilities for him/her? Stopped nagging about grades, stopped worrying about their financial decisions, stopped 'confronting' teachers...

...take another moment now to consider what your unruly child could become if they actually had to take on some of that responsibility. Imagine him/her talking to the teacher, begging to stay in the class because repeating it would mean not graduating on time...I wonder what would happen to their grades if they actually sat there and thought to themselves what it really means to be held back because of a failing grade or incomplete.

Stop being the voice in your child's head and let them be that voice, otherwise, once you're no longer in the picture, your child will have no hope in handling his/her responsibilities on their own.

Well, you can't make your teen move out until they are 18. So at 18 you don't have any control over what they do...

I view it as everyone make mistakes.

You do something once- it's a mistake, do it twice- you're stupid, you do it three times- you know exactly what you are doing.

I don't believe that punishing someone for a mistake they made is the best way forward. People need room to experience things and learn.

So, you give your teen, say, £100, she spends it all in one go then needs some more money... She can earn some more from you. You give her some money and she spends it for the second time... she goes without. She learns.

However, as a parent, have you taught her money management? Why should she automatically know?

Time management- I'm bad at this myself, I would remind her it's impolite to be late and to make more of an effort.

Drugs are illegal, they are unacceptable. And smoking is vile.

However, I believe in teaching responsibility with alcohol. Hiding it until they are 18 teaches them nothing. Ill maintain the "French" attitude to alcohol.

Partying- This would wholly depend on age. if she's 16 or under, I would put my foot down. I wouldn't punish her first partying mistake, but if she did it again she would be in serious trouble.

Sex.... teens will have sex. End of. So, I'd rather she talked to me so that I could give her protection and ask her to have sex in my home, rather than on some part bench etc.

EDIT- Answer below me- You are a fool if you think your teenager won't have sex. You might be lucky and have one that swallows the "abstinent" crap, but likely not. You can preach until you are blue in the face, if s/he wants to have sex s/he will. With or without your blessing.

I would rather know where my child is and make sure my child is safe while they have sex rather than run the risk of them having sex in some dodgy place.

It worked with me, worked with my mum, I don't see why it wouldn't work with my own.

I can see the other person on here who answered must not have children or is still a child herself. There is no excuse such as "teens will have sex." My children will NOT be having sex in my home and hopefully in no one else's. As teens I will be constantly preaching to them about it and making sure they don't get into situations where they have a chance to have sex. There will be no boyfriend/girlfriend over with the door closed, or staying the night at my house or theirs, or being home with no parents home. And if these rules are broken, there WILL be punishment. As a teenager there is no excuse for partying. They are not old enough and it's against the law. You can not smoke cigarettes until you are 18 and can not drink alcohol until you are 21. Of course as a teen I broke my parents rules and tried to drink and tried to smoke, and of course because I had nosy involved parents, I got caught. And punished, big time. I will do the same for my kids. It was an unbelieveable help for me. Because it was not allowed and was made clear it would not be tolerated, I never really became interested in it, even as an adult. I don't overdrink and I was made into a responsbile person because I had consequences and rules.

My mom taught me things such as time management and money management by having me have a job as soon as I could get one and having me plan around it. I could not call in sick (unless I was 100% sick) and I had to save half my paycheck. I'm so grateful for the things my parents did, even if I complained about it when I was younger. I was a dumb kid!

EDIT: Ellie, it's not that I don't believe they wouldn't try it, it's the fact that I will not tolerate it. My mom would NEVER allow us to be in situations where we would have sex as teenagers. Like I said, as a teen I would do things to sneak behind her back and once I did have sex as a teen... she found out about it and I got into trouble. That's the way it should be. I didn't have sex again until I was with my current fiance and I am proud to say that I've only been with two people my entire life. (I'd be much more proud to say it was one). I have self respect and boundries that I don't allow people to cross. My mother taught me that by not allowing me to have sex as a teen and if I didnt follow her rules, I was punished. I don't know too many people who can say that.

The list you gave isn't irresponsible,Time management,partying & sex!

Time Management,Everybody makes mistakes,anybody can get lost of time,Also she/he is a teen who will push limits.

Partying,There for anybody,There fun & to have time with her/his friends. As long as there not coming back from somewhere alone when it's dark or if there not drunk or putting themselves in danger.

Sex,Well that depends what age if 16+ There legally old enough for sex,they will try it & experiament things.They'll start and think about sex at about from 14 years onwards.

Give the girl a break,jeez.

well my teens follow my rules or they have no priveleges, no car, no phone, no computer, no tv, no extra curricular activities, and if they don't come home at night, they'd get locked the eff out. a little tough love never hurt anybody.i don't bail my kids out of anything.

Parents should tolerate us as much as we want... Otherwise we hate you...

How much..............NONE!!! If parents raise their children properly - then child will NEVER be irresponsible.