What are your favorite musical insults?

Stravinsky 'does up' Schubert's 'Marche Militaire' in his "Circus Polka; for a young elephant," (a Balanchine Ballet for the elephants of the Barnum and Baily Circus: the elephants wore pink tutus!)

The Schubert (orchestral version)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQnBZDln4Hk

Circus Polka

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnMkb9sWrf0

Debussy sends up Wagner, using a quote from Tristan und Isolde in his playful 'Golliwog's Cakewalk,' from 'Children's Corner Suite.'

The Wagner:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs_UxPMrekg

Golliwog's Cakewalk (in this link, the quote is from 1'29' to about the 2'00' mark)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioVTAgZTLCQ

Bartok Lampoons the main theme of the first movement of Shostakovich's Symphony No. 7 in the first movement of his 'Concerto for Orchestra.

The Shostakovitch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adMB97J7hCk

Concerto for Orchestra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdqB3WZCnaE

Mozart: The theme of the overture to 'Il Nozze di Figaro,' is from a tune by Clementi: the Clementi ditty being from an improvised piece from one round of a 'Piano Playoff' between Mozart and Clementi. Mozart turned the little tune into not only the overture, but a polyphonic romp in perfect sonata form. Certainly a form of one-upsmanship....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oKU94kxv-o

Liszt and his contemporary, piano virtuoso Sigismond Thalberg pariticipated in a staged sort of 'piano playoff' for a charitable event to raise funds for those Italians made indigent by the Italian Civil War. Thalberg's 'trademark' was a highly pyrotechnical configuration called the 'three hand effect' - pyrotechnical virtuosity of the left hand crossing, rapidly and often, in a piece of splashy display.

Liszt started the program first, playing his "Niobe - Grand Fantasy" -- based on themes from the opera of the same name by Pacini. This piece of musical fluff trumped Thalberg's 'signature trick' with Liszt's own 'three hand effect,' effectively blowing whatever Thalberg had prepared out of the water :-)

Liszt ~ Niobe, Grand Fantasy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCdGq2NiCjU

Prokofiev:

These two pieces are not direct 'lampoons' or satire. Prokofiev, had an irrepressible sense of wit and or satire, and I think could not but help himself.

Symphony No 1 -- Haydnesque, without taking anything directly from Haydn. One can not help but think this masterly symphony is both earnest while also being tongue in cheek.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2J_t2719xM&feature...

Overture on Hebrew Themes in C minor -- again neither lampoon or satire, but one can say the irony and other humorous elements, including the 'Klezmer' sound and manner, with which Prokofiev had not been at all familiar until he was presented with the commisson, are very much present in this piece.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9qmzofGGB8

The sharpest of remarks (of many) made to an aspiring instrumentalist?

"The best thing for you to play is the radio." --- ouch.

Best regards.

Charles Ives, on Tchaikovsky's music: "We know that butter comes from cream, but how long do we have to watch the churning arm?"

Rachmaninoff was invited to the writers Tolstoy's home. After hearing Rachmaninoff perform some of his music Tolstoy took the composer aside and asked, "Is such music needed by anyone?"

- Get up from that piano. You're hurtin' its feelings.

- You have Van Gogh's ear for music.

What a funny question, Kalibassa!

Best wishes,

he has a vangos ear for music.

I think Ive heard a better sound out of my toilet.

pull a Chopin's finger?

sir, that sounded like john cage.

why did you decide to be a composer?

Did my cat just get in a fight or was that a violin?

*BARRRFFFF*

i dont know if this really qualifies but me and all my friends had one music teacher who would always tell students to drop his class if they are not serious about it or if they ya know dont show up for it so know if anyone of us gives a bad preformance or makes bad song we say "please drop the class"