Should 5-8 YO girls go commando to a public playground?

Colleen, in a just and proper world, you could have mentioned to the grandmother that it was not proper for young girls to be so attired. But we do not live in such a world. Your not saying anything was most likely the best solution to the terrible situation. I would have told the other boys parents of what occurred and that the boy did nothing wrong or improper.

The grandma may have allowed the girls to dress like that just to allow her to live vicariously through them. I recall when I was 5 some neighbor complained to my parents that I was running through a sprinkler with other children wearing only pink short shorts. She argued with my parents that it was not proper for girls to go topless at any age. I have never understood why a any prepubescent girl is required to wear a top but that is my opinion.

It's very rare that people are interested in hearing random advice on how they should raise their children. Obviously she was aware that the girls were commando, she's raised children of her own, and likely feels she knows what she's doing. Your advice, gentle or otherwise, would not likely have changed her thinking on the matter and could very well end up making it into an unpleasant encounter.

Now I'm not going to argue that girls should be hanging upside down on the climbing equipment wearing dresses and no panties, but they shouldn't have to wear underwear just because someone might get a glimpse. I think defending the boy, in front of him at least, sends a bad message. The grandmother essentially was telling the boy that if he sees something wrong in the way a woman is dressed he should just stop looking and go on with his life. Defending him says he should tell others about it and by inference do something about it. It's that attitude that is most unhealthy and damaging to women. It reinforces the idea that if a guy sees something about a girl, the appropriate response is to go tell people about it rather than just let the girl be and go on with his life. Wouldn't we all be better off if we were more like the nephews who are learning not to make a big deal about nudity and who could observe the commando girls without making a big deal about it? They are learning not to objectify others by viewing them as a collection of forbidden body parts.

As for the hypothetical situation, it essentially says the girls should wear underwear for the protection of random people with cameras. That sounds very silly to me, but unfortunately we do live in a country where such a situation could arise. But I don't feel the girls should have to worry about such things.

But overall I get the impression you feel the world needs to be protected from girls' vaginas. If a boy sees one he should report it. If someone accidentally takes a picture of one they could go to jail and be ruined for life. I know it's odd for me to say something like that to a female, but just because you are doesn't mean you are immune to societal messages that tell us that women are the problem. If only women would act right, innocent photographers would be safe, rapists wouldn't be forced to rape them because perhaps they weren't wearing underwear and were asking for it, they wouldn't need contraception or abortions if only they'd learn to keep their knees together, or whatever. Don't fall into the trap of putting the onus on women to do the "right" thing rather than teaching men how to act right as well.

Should a 5-8 go commando? No, Not if they do not know how to properly sit down or play on the ground. There are just too many creepy people (male and female) lurking about.

I don't think it's a big deal in private but in public they should not be commando. I would have politely let the grandmother know that it is not appropriate in public.

Probably, nothing rude, just a calm suggesting that she doesn't let her grand kids go commando in public, bad parentingg/role modeling/habot forming