Religious/spiritual question for agnostic parents?

I was raised similarly and have come to similar conclusions about religion and consider myself agnostic. I won't be using doctrine from any organized religion to teach my daughter morals. Which isn't to say I don't believe there are good messages in religious texts such as the Bible, but as a whole it is contradictory and confusing and just not an ideal tool, especially considering how I don't *need* anything to help me teach her to be a good person.

As far as Christmas goes, the Roman Catholics adopted the day as Jesus' birthday in order to bring the pagans over to their side...by giving them a holiday they could celebrate during the time they usually had their winter solstice festivals. It worked, many and more converted. But it is NOT a purely "Christian" holiday so I have no guilt whatsoever about not educating my daughter about that meaning of Christmas, yet still celebrating the "Hallmark" holiday that it has become.

I would consider it a "story", just like the other stories you read her, including Winnie the Pooh and the Christmas story. Honestly, I don't really think you need to be concerned with "indoctrinating her into the Christian way of life" by reading her a story. A story is a story.

Do you celebrate Christmas in your house? Easter? If so, you have already unconsciously "indoctrinated" her into the Christian way of life.

We are not necessarily "agnostic" at our house, but certainly do not practice any specific religion. My MIL is methodist. My daughter goes to a Catholic school. so she learns about "God" from other people. I don't feel the need at this stage of her life to go into the details of religion, science vs. religion, etc. But we get our point across very subtly every now and again....such as when she says "God made this pen", and my husband, a mechanical engineer, corrects her. LOL. I take the middle-of-the road approach and tell her that God gave somebody else the ability to make the pen. I don't tell her that I believe in God or don't believe in God, as I dont want to push my own opinions on her either. When she is much older that will naturally happen in its own time.

And I'm also unclear about the connection between religion and "basic moral values".

The Unitarian Universalist church is about morals and values and respect for others, but doesn't tell you what to believe. She can explore all of those religions that you mentioned during the normal course of the religious education curriculum. UU's roots are Judeo/Christian, so you will find lots of it familiar after being raised Methodist.

To check it out and to find a congregation if you are interested: uua.org

Also, a good resource (if it still exists) is to take the beliefs quiz at beliefnet.com (I just looked it up - it is still there (Belief-O-Matic) - when I did it long ago, I came out UU followed closely by Liberal Quaker and some particular kind of Buddhist - I was raised Evangelical).

I think you should go right ahead read her the stories so she can absorb the morals. I truly feel like trying to indoctrinate a toddler with an external belief system, that YOU feel is right doesn't work. At this point, its more important to implant morals and ethics to establish a positive upbringing for your child. When the child gets older they will make their own choices on what to believe in. As long as the love and care is there, you will successful in raising a productive and wonderful human being.

Sharing what you believe is fine. My mother was raised as a Jew and still has those beliefs. My father was raised as a Christian and he still had those beliefs until he passed. My parents both were able to explain their beliefs to us without causing a conflict. Sharing and forcing are totally different.

When she is older saying, "this is what mommy believes but other kids and parents may believe differently" and allowing her to go to church if she wishes, would be a fine way to go about that.

As I have aged and had a child, I decided to do what my parents did with me. My son is five and since my father passed away recently, he has been asking a lot of questions about God and Jesus and what he should believe. I share what my wife believes and what I believe with him. No harm done.

I think you should raise her according to your personal beliefs. Nothing wrong with reading the story. If you believe it is just a story and nothing more, then treat it that way. She is far too young to read anything more into it. I don't think you need to indoctrinate her into Christianity if that is not what you believe. As you said, she is fine to find her own way as an adult. Teach her what you believe, including your morals and ethics and your relationship with TPTB. No sense in tying to get her to believe something that you yourself don't.

I'm not agnostic, but I'm gonna be very frank with you...so, what you want to decide on is whether or not to get anal about a child reading a book...what will you do with harry potter?? what will you do when she reads to kill a mockingbird, or stephen king, or say in her teens she wants to read books written by serial killers...or God forbid she picks up a cookbook...but I assume by that age, books will be null & void, & the internet is what you'll have to contend with...hope ya get what I mean...I know it seems very important to you, but it's that way because you really haven't assigned yourself your position on religion...define it, then use it in your household...just please make sure your husband agrees..it can cost you some problems if not...good luck!! but you CAN get through this...& there are many morals you can teach...ya don't need parables, ya don't need Bible stories, but they CAN be used as well as other religious books..i still own books written from prophets that I have NO interest in their religion...again, you can get through with this....try not to defend yourself with your child..& please try to define your religion before this gets the best of you...

Sure, you could read Christian tales to her, but why not pick up some other religious tales while you're at it? I read stories from the hindu religion to my kids, Muslim, Buddhist, and Jewish, too. They all have pretty good stories.

As for morals- a person doesn't need religion to know right from wrong.

I'm agnostic, and I'm a firm believer in letting my daughter figure it out herself. I've read her all types of books from various religions, whatever she believes or doesn't believe I'll support. The only thing that I'm not really comfortable with is sending her to church at a young age. I mean I remember going to church when I little thinking I was going to burn in hell for every little thing and that freaked me out lol. I would rather her go when she's older, if she wants to, to figure out if that is the thing for her. Knowledge is the best thing to give a child about all things, there values they have to figure out for themselves, and they change so much as they grow.

I am well aware of the spiritual side of life. It does not take religion to know that there is a God, just look at nature. I found that if I wanted to know God even more, then I had to find his communication to the human race. After searching I found Christianity, which did not cause me to reject my observations in science and human nature. I would have to say that the vast majority of my spiritual/ religious experience was not because of the way I was raised, it was because of the things I consciously experienced.