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Does it sound like this guy just used my daughter?

My daughter met a guy college who approach her first, but my daughter wasn't really interested in him. She thought he was nice looking and he is very smart, but was interested in someone else. The guy continued to befriend her, and would walk and talk with her. My daughter says he tried everything to show that he like her. The two became friends and oneday while they were together, he tried to kiss her, she said that she told him not to do that anymore. They continued to be friends while in college, after this guy tried continously to show her he liked her, my daughter soon realized that she was growing to like him too. My daughter who wasn't sexually active, soon became active with this guy over the summer. The guy stayed in the state where the College is, and my daughter who lived in another state came home for the summer. The guy drove hours to come see my daughter, and stay at an hotel, while they spent time for a week together. They talked and text everyday when he returned home. Then before school was to start back up, she stayed about 2 weeks at his house with him. She told me how good he treated her, and they had such a good time together. She told me how he told her that he has fallen in love with her and she told him this also. Anyway School starts and my daughter who's on a Basketball Scholarship at this College, and who is a valuable player on the team and plays post center, and is one the first five to start and has won many awards. Anyway her Coach who is male worn her against this guy, and says that he is no good for her. The Coach also went as far as to tell this guy that he is interfering with his program by dating my daughter. That she will be distracted by him. My daughter new boyfriend was upset by this, and so was my daughter, and was thinking of leaving the team because her Coach wanted her to leave this guy alone. Anyway my daughter changed her mind about leaving the team. Her boyfriend says that she wasn't standing up for their relationship. Shortly after that my daughter started seeing a change in her new boyfriend he was now telling her that they needed a break in the relationship. He says that they weren't broken up but that he had school to worry about, and he also is a Fraternity brother at the school, and had bills, and so he needed to focus. He also told her she needed to do the same thing. When my daughter became upset by this he assured her that they wasn't apart and gave her a bracelet to show that they were committed to each other. Anyway my daughter tried for days to go through with the break, and decided that she was going to ask him did he want to go somewhere just to eat and talk. He told her he didn't have time, and that he was busy. She text him again told him that she was trying to do something nice, and said forget it. She text me very upset saying Mama do you think I was being used, and that our whole relationship was a lie, and that he just trying to let me down easy. She says their being apart doesn't seem to bother him like it does her. What do you think? Do you think this guy is trying to break up with my daughter without officially telling her? I feel so hurt for her. This is her first serious relationship.

Update:

The Coach want to win another Championship rings. He and the former team won 2 rings 2009 and 2010.

1 Answer

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's hard for any of us out here to tell what's in this boy's heart. From what you wrote, though, it looks like everything was fine until the coach told her to stop seeing him. That wasn't his fault. Is this usual for a coach to insist a player break up her romantic relationship? I would think that as long as she's keeping up her grades, staying focused during conditioning, practices & games, that there wouldn't be any problems. I wonder what was going on that made the coach step in and want to split them up. Everything that happened since seems to be fallout from that, rather than her boyfriend doing anything to her. He was hurt by all this, too.

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