my wife just had a baby?

Its called jerking off, you'll be doing a lot of it for the next 6 weeks.

I feel trolled. xD

If you're serious, you may just need the stress relief. I couldn't "put" out for 6 weeks, but I resorted to oral for my husband from day two. Discuss it with her seriously and kindly and you may find that she's willing to do things for you. If she's not (too tired, too demure, too disgusted) that's all legitimate stuff that you should probably know, and it won't last as long as the headache of having another girlfriend (6 weeks at most if she's torn as long as she's following her instructions). Perhaps you should say hello to your old pals lefty and righty? You have a baby now too (even if it's not biologically yours, as you seem so callouse in your wording) and more than owing it to your wife to be faithful, you owe it to your child to keep an honest house without all that **** that s/he picks up on more than you know (s/he really will pick up on your cheating behavior even if your wife doesn't, though there's a good chance her increased maternal feelings will also pick up on your behavior).

If you really want to cheat, it's time to lay down the ground rules and consider counseling or separation. Nip it in the bud early, be nothing but honest, and your wife won't have as much of reason to take all your money as she will later when you've done something legitimately wrong. Do that before your house becomes something toxic for your child and you become just another statistic.

You should honor your vows "for better or for worst" and be a husband. Having a baby is a big responsibility and if you weren't ready for that then you shouldn't have gotten married. Relationships are not all about sex and if you truly love her then you will respect her and love her as you - a husband and father - should. Be a man about it and take care of your family. By the way, you are being very disrespectful to your wife and baby with this question and very immature.

This is obviously a joke.... Shouldn't you be getting ready for school??