Is the punishment my mum gave me fair?

Question

I wanted to go out with the guy I was dating at the time, so I asked her the night before. She asked that I wait until morning for the answer. When I came downstairs in the morning, I just kinda hung around waiting for the answer, but she didn't give one. I went back to my room out of boredom. It was getting late, so I texted her to ask if she'd made a decision. 30 minutes later, she had not answered me, so I simply texted "mum?" She texted back flipping out about having been sleeping. I asked again if she made a decision and she said he could come over. I thought that was the end. She then texted me saying "real mature to come down and ask, by the way." I said "I don't feel comfortable talking about it around Tony," (her boyfriend.) She replied "Oh well, maybe I just shouldn't let you go, then." I texted back a 3 page message about how I hadn't dated anyone in 2 years, so it's not like I was about to date some untrustworthy idiot, or something, and asked why she didn't want me to be with him. She came upstairs, barged into my room and started screaming at me. I don't remember what all was said... But why (I think) I was grounded is when she started putting down all of my friends, only one of whom she'd ever met. All I did was defend them and say she doesn't know them, so how could she possibly be saying these thing about them. I wasn't rude about it. I did call her immature after she'd called me it many times and also called me "too quick to trust" and said that I "take everything everyone says at face-value." If this were true, I wouldn't have cared, but it's really hard for me to trust people. She knows this. Then called me selfish for not telling her about my life, which I don't do for many reasons, one of which being trust issues, another being that I don't want to bore her. Anyway... She took my laptops (one personal, one for school) and my phone for a month. I can't talk to any of my friends because I started cyber school this year, so I don't go to a building. I'm only on here because she's stopped caring about me having my laptop since I use it for school. Back to my question, though, do you think that punishment is unfair? She also took my knife and gun I keep next to my bed for my own protection. (I didn't proofread this, so please forgive any errors.)

Update:

I'm grounded until Christmas Eve, so you know.

And I'm not a bad daughter, or at least, I don't think so. I'm quiet and I do my school work. I hardly ever go out with my friends. I don't drink or smoke. I don't have sex. I helped around the house until I got hurt and then I couldn't. (I was climbing rocks and lost my footing and slipped. I hurt my back, bruised my leg, twisted my knee, got a concussion, and got some scratches.) That was two weeks ago. And she was yelling at me for not helping around the house, but I did until I got hurt, so it wasn't my fault. But I think she really doesn't like me because I'm the reason she hates her sister. Something happened to me and I confided in her sister. She didn't tell my mum, but when I finally had to tell my mum, she talked to her sister about it and she said she already knew, so my mum hasn't talked to her much since. That was about a year and a half ago.

Update 2:

I have a pocket knife because I like knives and if someone breaks in, I'll kick some ***. The gun is just a harmless BB gun that would hopefully scare the person off.

Update 3:

I forgot to mention that my boyfriend is in the army and would be in town for 10 days before being deployed to Kuwait and then Afghanistan. He'll be gone for up to a year. He leaves on the 30th.

Jushiro Ukatake · Accepted Answer

unfair and seriously gun and knife??

Hemi · Answer

Yeah, this punishment is unfair. She is probably still jealous because you confided in her sister/your aunt instead of her when whatever it was happened to you. She needs to get over it and learn that screeching like a banshee at you is not going to make you trust her/open up to her. 

The knife and gun thing is kinda scarey but I kind of understand it. I have guns (yes, plural) because I think all women should know how to handle a gun and fire a gun if necessary. IF someone has enough balls to attack me, they better have enough to sustain a gunshot wound. 

I think the punishment is unfair and way too lengthy. I think your mom has some growing up to do but I do think its mainly jealously about the thing you confided to your aunt.

nuns in a land rover · Answer

That really doesn't seem fair because it's natural for people to vent and your mom should be caring and understanding. However you probably should have asked her to talk face to face, away from Tony. And why do you have a knife and gun in your own house???

Anonymous · Answer

The knife and gun is fair, however the phone is not and neither is the laptop. She is using excuses so you do not go see your boyfriend. It can only be an excuse and nothing else because she cannot judge your friends without meeting them.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's quite a bit unfair. By the way, do you live in the ghetto or something to need a gun at your bed?

Anonymous · Answer

Unfair. It sounds like its about your mom, and not really about u. But do u really need a gun and a knife?

rusty shakleford · Answer

Been there, done that!  I always hated talking about things with my parents so u would have went back upstairs too!  I think she overreacted though and acted the way mine would have by yelling.

Serene E · Answer

Doesn't matter if you consider it fair or not.  She has the power, she's in control and she thinks it's necessary.

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Is the punishment my mum gave me fair?

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