Should I ignore my husband if he says he doesn't love me anymore but I want to stay married?

Your story sounds a lot like my life right down to husband sleeping the basement family room. I have been married 20 years. I went 2 c a lawyer last week because I'm sick of the back and forth which btw hurts SO bad. Of course you love him and of course he loves you, 17 years and 4 kids...but sometimes it really is too late. People do change, my husband is not the man I married even he admits that. My husband has told me I am the most beautiful woman he knows, a wonderful wife and mother but he can't help how he feels and he knows he is making me unhappy and I deserve better. I finally believe that too and so will you. I will tell you 1 important lesson, your husband will never respect you if you keep kissing his butt and begging him to stay. He won't, been there. When I decided I was going to take control of my life and what I want- my husbands attitude changed and now he's begging me not to divorce him!!! The big dif here is my husband has cheated and didn't really want a divorce to begin with he just said our marriage felt more like a friendship. I didn't want to admit it to myself but he was right. Even my sister has been telling me for years that I have allowed him to run my life and tell me what to do and no man respects that...she knows! Now so do I. If your husband has told you he wants a divorce and isn't willing to try counseling it is time to move on. No it will not be easy (I'm there) but once you have made up your mind to be strong and stand on your own you will feel peace again. A marriage takes 2 ppl who both want to make it work and are willing to do whatever it takes. If both are not on board it will not work. I'm not one for threats but maybe your husband is trying to see if you grow a pair??? I know someone who went through something like this and when she finally told her husband to pack his crap and get out she was done...he did a total 360 begging her to give him another chance, he'd go to counseling (which he swore he wouldnt do) now they're happy and she is no longer a push over.

So you have decided that getting back together with an ex is the best choice for the both of you. While you may feel excited and relieved, keep in mind there could be rocky roads ahead if you are not careful. A break up is not something taken lightly. Make sure you are truly ready to reunite by asking yourself the following questions.

Does My Ex Make Me Feel Angry, Sad or Frustrated?

When you spend time with your ex, do you still feel those negative emotions welling up inside?

If so, you are not ready to try again. You are still feeling the effects of the break up. You may need to only sit down talk and air out the issues that are still bothering you. If this doesn't work, you should consider postponing the reunion until you feel better about it.

Do You Truly Want This Person?

Some people fall in love with the idea of being in love rather than the person they are supposed to be in love with. Make sure you are not getting your relationship fix by getting back with an ex. You should actually feel something special for this one person. If anyone can fill the position, then you are better off moving on until you can get your emotions and needs in order.

Is the Past Really Behind You Both?

The break up was caused by something. Whatever it was, have you both come to terms and found a solution that is fair to each partner? Are you ready to move on while leaving those bad things in the past? If you are not truly ready, these things can begin to appear in the form of arguments and bickering which can make your relationship break again further down the road.

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Have you lost your ex, and are now asking for help on "how to get my ex back when he's moved on'? Don't bother moping, because what you have lost does not mean you have lost it forever. Here are some quick and simple tips for learning how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman and no longer appears to be interested in associating with you. Learn here https://tr.im/L3mWC

1 - One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Make a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again.

2 - The first step to getting the man of your dreams back is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a number of options that you can employ from this point on.

3 - When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. You are going to want him to want you, but you're also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. While playing games is not the best way to go, you do not want give an air of hard to get, making him more interested in the process.

4 - You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone - But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.

5 - Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs.

He said NO to MARRIAGE COUNSELING????

No I do NOT think you should ignore him. He's obviously not into this marriage anymore.

I'm so sorry to hear that your son is taking it so hard. You have been trying and he evidently doesn't want to work things out. I feel you need to think about you and your kids HAPPINESS. Him hanging around being one foot in and one foot out is not helping the situation or putting you at ease. He needs to MOVE OUT and file for the divorce so you may being to heal and get some closure. I know you might be afraid but you don't need him to play with you and the kids feelings. ESPECIALLY with you trying to make the marriage work.

he clearly is calling the shots but it seems you're okay with this. if you are willing to do anything, more than likely you'll end up standing by him until the divorce hearing. AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. you are his wife, be one until the last moment. I know that's hard and you may want to do as your friends suggest and give him a taste of life without you. but YOU will regret that after the divorce. it's as if he's going to die and you know you'll never see him again...do you want to spend your last days ignoring him? you don't want this divorce, you want to be his wife. then be his wife. and on the day that you two are legally divorced, THEN you may be his ex wife and you will learn to pick up the pieces. i know this is odd advice but I've been in your exact shoes. hind sight told me to just tell him i love him, NOT PLAY GAMES and be his wife until the last moment. eventually i was served papers and the marriage was over. you can't save a man's heart when his heart is telling him he is done. just DO YOUR PART and be mother and wife and be strong. good luck!!

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Text messaging is the perfect way to get your ex back because it gives you a chance to be far more personal then what you might feel comfortable with being in person. Even if the other person is resistant to you at first, they'll come around as long as you aren't too pushy with this form of communication. Here's a short method you can follow using text messages to get your ex back.

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That must be horrible. I feel for you. However, your husband has made it quite clear that he wants out, and regardless of lack of quality time together, that wouldn't change how someone who really loved you (romantically) would feel. You can't make someone be in love with you, and you can't make someone stay who doesn't want to. All you can do is try to be as pleasant as possible when dealing with him, but be prepared for what sounds to me like irreconcilable differences from his perspective.

Let's see how much he doesn't love you when he sees child support for 4 kids come out of his pay.

He's moved on I will bet he is already seeing someone. So it's up to you whether or not you stay and be humiliated or not.

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They might realize they need you and come crawling back!

If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.