My cat is dying and I don't know how to live?

Question

My wife and I got our cat right after we were married - Labour Day 1999.  Now she is dying of an enlarged heart.  We have given a DNR instruction to the vet because she is breathing so terribly hard.  The vet says she would be miserable if not responding to medication.  She hasn't died yet but if she doesn't respond to meds in the next 48 hours she will.

Of course it's hurting my dear wife, but it's killing me.  I am a disabled veteran (depression, PTSD) and the kitty has been my only company during the day.  She's more than a pet, she's our little girl (we don't have kids).

I know death is part of life and, at 47 years old, I've seen my share of it.  I have very few living relatives, and I am on medication/in counselling (my counsellor knows about the kitty dying).  My counsellor has said our kitty has been very therapeutic for me.

I know she's going to go eventually but it's still going to be like a kick in the guts when she does.

I will not know how to live...nor am I sure that I will care one way or another.  I cannot say this to my dear wife because it would break her heart even worse that it already is over our kitty.

I am now in the process of berating myself over the times when I've been short with the kitty...I love her to pieces but there are times when I've snapped at her.  Now I wish I could fix that all again even though I know I can't!

Please don't say "why are you so worked up over a cat."  I don't need that, so if that's what you're saying, keep it.

cat lover · Answer

Bereavement counseling over the loss of a beloved pet is available, so ask for it from your counselor.  I am sorry to read about your impending loss.  Almost 14 years is a wonderful amount of time, but then it never is enough.

And, I am providing a link to a site you may find useful to visit and there are further links on the site.

Yes, death is a part of life, and you have probably seen more then most.  But this time, it is personal, so that makes a difference.

Don't concern yourself if you were sharp with your cat at any one time.  Your cat did not hold it against you.

I know this isn't something you are thinking about now, but if, in the future, you decide to adopt another cat, do not look for one that looks like your cat.  You are simply adopting another cat, not a replacement.

Bridget · Answer

Your post made me cry :( I'm only 13, but I have lost three cats in my life. I understand why you are getting so worked up over a cat, because that's what I have done 3 times. And soon I will be getting worked up over another one of my cats who is dying... Also from an enlarged heart. I love him so much, and I don't know how long you have been aware of your cats enlarged heart but I have know for 2 months and the vet basically said he is going to get worse and could die any day. I only have had my cat for 3 years because we adopted him as a full grown cat. He is the sweetest cat in the world, and even though I have two others ( I know, crazy cat lady) it won't be the same. Everyone says a dog is a mans best friend, but my cat is my best friend.

I wish you all the luck in the world, and just know her has eight more lives to live :)

I also want to say, if you ever to decide to adopt another cat, please get one from a shelter that is full grown. They are the ones who need a home, and have a harder time getting one.

Marleah · Answer

Your post is so upsetting to me and I'm so sorry for your potential loss. Animals can be the most loving and therapeutic companions. I suffer from anxiety and depression very badly. I was not doing well at all and got a dog just over a year ago. She saved my life honestly, I now have a kitten as well and they just make me smile I love them so much. 
I would definatley adopt another pet. It may feel cruel and if it was me I'd almost want to do it before your beloved pet passes so that you have that animal for the emotional therapy that they are so willing to give and are so very good at it I may add :)
Check out kijiji in your area or petfinder there are lots of kittens needing homes and it sounds like you'd be a perfect candidate!

S. T · Answer

I have a brother in the forces, so I can empathize with you. 
I would go ahead and adopt another cat---the cats in shelters are lonely and often suffer from depression and anxiety. When your cat passes on and you have grieved, consider this option. Saving another animal from depression and death may help you deal with your own feelings. Sorry for your kitty's health. It is always difficult to lose a loved one.

? · Answer

I understand go to petfinder.com that have info about grieving I know she's still alive Good Luck little girl I love kitties =(  try to get another cat.On her "DAY" praise her on how well she's been and how you really love her.Go to a pet hospital

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My cat is dying and I don't know how to live?

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