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Adoptive Grandparents, what do you consider your kids/grandkids now?
We did this in November and I don't know how to introduce them to new people. Are they my children? (I'm obviously too old for that!) Are they my grandchildren really anymore? Should I bring up the adoption all the time?
The kids will always know they are adopted so there's no problem with them hearing me say it.
8 Answers
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
I would just stick to grandchildren, this isn't an uncommon thing anymore; my in-laws are actually taking custody of my baby also
- ZeldaLv 68 years ago
They are your grandchildren. Kids really care a lot about what other people think. The less you have to say the word adoption, the better.
The word adoption implies decades of stigma and shame that was associated with closed secret forced adoptions.
If they are really related to you it is what it is
- CarbonDatedLv 78 years ago
Just introduce them as your grandchildren that you are now raising. The fact that you adopted them is nobody's business. It is a legal matter.
- 8 years ago
Are they old enough to choose what to be called? If so, ask them. Otherwise say they're your grandchildren and cross the adoption story bridge if needed.
I'm in the same boat. My granddaughter (10) has always lived here while mom was in and out. She always heard us called "Mom and Dad" by our at home kids so that's what she always called us. When her mother passed away, she started calling us her parents, so we always call her our daughter.
It's easier for her, too.
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- A Red LooLv 68 years ago
It depends on what you want them to be. I was raised by my grandparents my entire life, I've already referred to them as mom and dad and I am their daughter.
If you want the relationship to a grandparent one, the you introduce them as that. But if you're trying to take on the role as mom and want them call you as such, then they are your children.
The age of the child will effect this too. If they are younger under 5, they may not remember their parents and attach themselves to you. If they are older they may not want someone to replace their parents (regardless of the reason they were placed) and want nothing more than for you to be a grandparent.
When my parents at 6 months old it was supposed to be temporary, so when I started talking and calling my grandparents "mama" they tried to discourage it. After realizing they were stuck with me (in the best way possible) they wanted to parent me and raise me as their own. After years in DCF custody and being the only parents I knew, they made it offical with an adoption when I was 10. So now I'm legally theirs ax well as in their hearts.
- Scifichic92Lv 58 years ago
They are your grandchildren still. You can tell people like school, doctors, etc, that they are your grandchildren that you have adopted, but otherwise you don't need to go into detail.
- PippinLv 78 years ago
To random strangers, they are your grandchildren.
To friends, (and other people who really need to know, like their doctor and school administration) they are your grandchildren who you adopted because their parents were no longer able to care for them (or had died, or whatever the situation is.)