Daughter left in car alone?

That is completely unacceptable. Your daughter could have been kidnapped, the car could have been stolen; a fire, robbery, or accident could have left her father trapped inside without any idea of "how long" he would be unable to reach him.

What can you do about it? Probably nothing at this point, to be perfectly honest. You didn't report it, you can't withhold ordered visitation, and I'm sure you have no physical evidence that this instance of neglect even happened.

What you SHOULD do is let your child's father know that regardless of his opinion on the matter, his actions are unacceptable to you, and are actually illegal as well. You DO have the right to demand that he never do this again.

Make a note of THIS time, and include a description about your conversation about it. If he does it again, take a photo of your child alone in the car, record your ensuing conversation with him about it, and call CPS IMMEDIATELY.

Once is a mistake. Twice is criminal neglect, and whether you want a "good relationship" with her father or not, it is YOUR responsibility to keep your child safe.

Let me tell you a little secret. When my daughter was a baby, I left her in the car went I bought gas. At that time there was no pay-at-the-pump, and rather than unstrapping her and lugging the carseat inside, it was easier to run in and pay.

And it WASN'T a big deal. I could easily see the car. I'm not so paranoid as to believe that kidnappers lurk in gas stations waiting to steal infants. Nor did I worry that some stranger would call the police and I'd be arrested for being 50 feet away from my child for 2 minutes.

If the mini-mart in question was, like most, designed with big glass windows, it's not a big deal. He could see her.

EDIT: Faith's stories are completely different. 15 minutes isn't 2 minutes. Leaving the car running isn't turning the car off and taking the keys. A little common sense and sense of proportion goes a long way.

EDIT" IR's 'the baby could have died in the hot car?' In 2 minutes? So ... when you buy gas I assume that you take baby out of the car and set the carseat in the parking lot so baby won't die in the hot car?

There is nothing 'immature' about common sense and not panicking over what 'could happen' in the most extreme and remote scenarios.

EDIT: Shana -- while I'm not a kidnapper, and don't know how they think, if I WAS a kidnapper, I can think of many more sensible places to seek out victims than a busy gas-station where there are people coming and going all the time, (people who would surely notice me breaking the car window to get the baby out), where the child's parent is likely watching the car and will re-appear at any second, and where there are probably video-cameras monitoring the lot.

Depends on how long he was gone for.

if you only saw him gone for 2 minutes, it's no big deal at all. he might have been buying something, and decided that it was easier to leave her in the car. As long as she's in no danger of choking, falling, or harming herself in any other way, it's fine, and you're probably overreacting.

What I personally think, and you will deny it without a doubt, is that you don't want him to have your daughter at all, because you get anxious of her not becoming the way you want her to become. You're probably being over-possessive, but remember, it's his child too. He wants to see her just as much as you do.

Let him have the child again, it's probably your mother's instinct to protect her from the "dangers" of your ex. The thing is, there are no dangers, you're making them up. It's in your head.

Not saying you're a bad person, just be kind to him, explain how you felt, and he might just agree with you. Shouting never convinced a single man of anything.

It is a big deal and it isn't a big deal. Depends on the circumstances. Was it hot out? Did he leave the car running? Was he in full view of the car at all times? How long was he gone for? Let's not freak out and call child protective services just yet. Myself, I wouldn't leave a child in the car. But, again, it depends on the circumstances.

And to the chick above who answered that there aren't kidnappers lurking in every gas station - that may or may not be true. Kidnappers don't advertise that they are looking for children to steal. It happens in the most unlikeliest and safe-appearing places. Be aware, be diligent. But, use common sense.

Seriously? If he could see the vehicle from inside the store, he's fine. Leaving her in the car for a few minutes to pay for gas is a ridiculously stupid reason to not let him take her this weekend. RELAX.

I don't think this is a big deal. At a grocery store, yes, but at a gas station where the car is visible from the store? It's just not a big deal.

I totally agree with you. The thing is people have different opinions on this.

Years ago it was no big deal. I remember in the 80s as a young kid maybe 7 or 8 sitting in our car alone with my sister while our mom grocery shopped. We'd have the windows down & doors open. We'd at times get out and play in the parking lot near the car. This was in MS and it gets very very hot in the summer time.

I've seen & known moms who do this too. They do this at the bank, gas station & fast food places. My sister inlaw actually had someone call the police on her and she was visited by CPS. She was gone for about 15mins. Someone saw her leave my nephew who was 3 at the time in the car alone. They timed it and kept an eye on him & called the police.

When my daughter told me my mother inlaw did this with her & her siblings I was unhappy. I did not like the idea of it but my husband felt it was ok since my oldest at the time she told me was about 7, her sister was 3 & my son was a toddler. It still worried me though and I talked to my mother inlaw about it. She saw nothing wrong with it.

I had a friend do this with her 4 kids and she made the nightly news. It was winter and she lives in Maine. It was snowing. She left her 4 kids ages 9 - baby in the van running with the heat on. She went into the bank. Her son who is 4 got out of his booster seat, climbed in the front seat and moved the car from park into drive. The van rolled forward and into the bank. It went through a huge glass window. No one was hurt. This was in 1997 or so. I don't remember what happened with her if she had to pay damages or what.

My point is things can happen & I feel it is wrong to leave kids unattended in cars or vans. People say it is a pain to get out the kids, take them inside and put them back in the car. I understand that too.

Talk to your daughter's father and tell him you worry about her being left alone in the car. Tell him someone may see it and report it to the police because that happens. I have a friend who does this she also once reported an old man left alone in a car on a hot summer day. She also reports pets left in cars on hot days too.

What do you think people with triplets do when they go to a garage to buy petrol? Do you think they take every baby out of the car, try to carry them a few feet to go and pay for petrol, then try to get them all back into the car? That sounds more dangerous to me.

I'm sure my son was left countless times when out with family, safely strapped into his car seat whilst they went to pay for their petrol.

If someone was going to try to steal a baby, they'd have to be totally stupid to try it at a petrol station where there's always cameras.

He probably ran in to pay for gas. It's not like she was sitting in the car while he went into the local bar for a few drinks. Tell him you're uncomfortable with it and move on. Hardly a reason to prevent your daughter from seeing her father.

He needs parents classes from the child protection office. So go to your county office and request that they open a case and have him take the classes before he gets her again. Seriously, as you did discuss this with him and he disagrees.