Why do people assume single parents suck?

There are some biases that certain people will never get past. Some people will always remain close-minded, whether it's regarding race, religion, sexuality, marriage, children, parenting, etc. etc. etc. There will always be those people.

Ideally, everybody would be able to get past their prejudices. But it just won't happen. All that matters is that you know how good of a parent you are. Fighting other peoples' opinions is a never-ending, impossible-to-win battle. There are better ways to spend your time.

If you are such a great parent, why are you bothered by something people may say about not so great parents? If your kid is a wonder kid like you say she is, then you aren't a single parent that sucks. You need to learn to not be defensive. Nobody says involved single parents suck. Nobody says single parents with smart active kids are bad parents.

Maybe you feel guilty about something and need to appease your guilt by parading your child's accomplishments to show how you are a good single parent.

My sister is married to a drunk. Her oldest is smart. Bright. Sweet. Hard working. Dependable. Received a scholarship for college. You would never know her home life was screwed up. Her parents are not very good at all. So, that blows your theory out if the water.

ETA: You asked a general question about single parents. You did not ask a question about your personal situation. You then used your child as an example of a single parent doing a good job. People answered the question in regards to the main question giving examples of why single parents can suck. This does not mean you are a bad parent.

Maybe you should not ask questions asking peoples opinions about something you are so defensive about. This is not a therapy board. It is a question and answer board.

Why do you assume people think you suck as a parent because you are a single parent?

Honestly, I don't think most people slam single parents. They slam single TEEN-AGED parents. No one points fingers at a 25 year old mother of two, divorced or widowed or raising the kids alone while her husband is in Afghanistan etc... People assume a teenager can't raise a child alone because first, it's harder for a teenager. They don't have the years of life experience an adult would have. Secondly, no company is going to give a teenager a job that pays enough to raise a child alone. It's not that I think someone can't do it. I did it. I had my son when I was 17 and he's 31 now. It was hard, and I had ZERO help from my family, or his father. Still, I graduated high school, and worked two jobs at a time sometimes (in fact, 3 at several points) and he's now a man any parent would be proud of. The thing is...there aren't many teenaged girls who are wiling to do what your daughter is doing. It takes very hard work and dedication, AND you need to be dedicated to finding time to spend with your child. It would be hard for anyone, let alone a teenager. You just have to keep in mind...she is NOT the norm. That's why people say single teen-aged parents suck.

I think ideally two involved parents are the best situation. HOWEVER, one good parent is much better than two crappy parents, or one parent crappy parent.

I think we can all point to an example of a lousy single parent. I can point to a whole lot of lousy married parents I know. Alcoholics, abuse, etc..... it isn't the sole realm of the unmarried. One of the most successful college students I know was raised by a single mother. A whole bunch are somewhere in the middle. Common sense says all single parents are not all the same, and neither are their kids. Your daughter sounds great. She is infinitely better off than the child of two parents who spend their days making up for their shortcomings by putting down other parents. She is probably better off than the child of a parent who has "issues" galore who is married.

You'll see a lot of behavior on a site like this that shows the worst of all involved. And if you had magic truth dust, you'd most often see that those who are most likely to bash are trying to deflect from their own issues as parents.

Just say'n. .

It's wonderful that you have a child that is doing so well but, she is the exception. The numbers don't lie and children from single parent homes simply don't do as well. Ignoring those numbers because of pride or whatever is foolish at best.

Because it is only one parent caring for the children and some people assume that the single parent can't handle the task of working and parenting on their own.

Most of the questions those answers are attached to, if you go back and check, are from whiny kids who can't get what they want (not need) because their single parent (Mom or Dad) has to budget, or from people who probably shouldn't have had kids in the first place. After my Dad died my Mom raised 6 kids on her own, and we couldn't have everything we wanted, but we had everything we needed. She raised us to be good people with strong moral compasses, to help where we could, and to believe in ourselves.

I think most people know single parents can raise their children as well as a couple. Next time you see one of those answers, consider the question it's attached to-and the maturity of the person answering.

Being a single parent myself, I usually don't let it get to me, but sometimes it just really does. When you know how hard you worked and to see your daughter get to where she is now, and you know how you were the person who supported her and were right there for her to get her to where she is today, and to hear judgmental remarks, I guess it is just a big slap in the face.

My daughter is almost 5 and I was 18 when I had her, I was always judged due to my age and her father not being in the picture, but seeing how far I've come from being a pregnant 18 year old right out of high school, to see my daughter about to start school in the fall and doing dance and gymnastics and watching her grow and seeing how caring of a person she is, it's amazing to think that I single-handedly got us to where we are today. It's crazy to think how far we've come these past 5 years..

Of course I owe infinite credit to the support of my parents and family and friends who were always there for the both of us and loved us through everything. But nevertheless I was the one who didn't let her father's poor decisions to affect me from being the best mom I could be.

Also, congrats on your daughter, she sounds like she's a hard worker and is going to go far!

they can of course but I do believe a 2 parent household is ideal. You might look at your child and see they are happy/intelligent etc but absence of one parent does create some sort of voids.

one awesome parent can be at least as good for a child as two mediocre or terrible ones.

don't confuse what people on y!a say with what people generally assume.