Fiance is scared to get married now?

Hi there,

I am getting in October too.

I have been with my fiancee for over 5 years and we been engaged 4 of those.

It is probably just nerves and nothing to worry about.

You might not be nervous yourself just yet and neither am I but I am telling you now when it creeps up a bit closer and then actually the day I am going to be really nervous so will my fiancee.

Maybe sit down and probably talk things over with her.

Last thing you want is getting into a marriage that will not last or even worse she not turn up for the wedding as she gets "cold feet" on the day.

It's best to call wedding off if you have any doubts.

Like others have said you may be marrying too soon and will regret it as you could be missing out on lots of things but obviously we do not know your actual ages to comment further about this.

How many girlfriends have you had? Have you had an active fun life with friends going to clubs pubs and generally have the young life most men enjoy before settling down?

I have so I am ok and I am now 40.

I had been married before and divorced after two years of marriage and had been with my ex for 9 years and engaged 6 years but marriage didn't work out because she says "she missed out on lots of things and wanted to feel young again" This was in 2007.

I met my ex in 1999.

Anyway less said about her the better cos she broke my heart and basically hurt me much more than a man should ever be hurt and I don't wish any man to suffer way I did.

However I am now very happy and my fiancee saved me from the hell of my ex and stuck by me through all the crap my ex was giving to me.

And now we are getting married me and my fiancee.

So now what is your story?

Marriage is a commitment between two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.

Can you and your fiancee commit to this?

If the answer is no then you need to think if you can marry.

If the answer is yes then go for it and may I give you my best wishes for a long and happy life together.

Myself and my fiancee are right for each and neither one of us could be without the other and have a love that will last forever.

Can you go to that?

You have to ask yourself these questions and your fiancee needs to answer yes as well to give you the confidence and assurance you'll be together for rest of your lives.

Not an easy decision with how you feel right now and how she appears to feel.

Whatever you decide may I wish you luck. :)

I would always want someone to be happy with a relationship and marry for the right reasons.

You only live once after all so make it a good one.

I wonder how old you both are.Sometimes when you have only dated and been with one person since your high school days then go right in to marriage anyone could wonder if they have "missed out" on something. After you are married the you start to think maybe you should have had a little more free time.Time to experience more relationships to know what you really want out of life.This happens to both men and women.Be grateful it is happening NOW before too much planning has gone on.Maybe all she need is a little space and time to really understand what marriage means and to see what her life is like without spending so much time with her.Saying she may be falling out of love with you is HUGE.Don't take that lightly I would lovingly offer her some thinking time and NOT put any pressure on her. I am not saying you two should start dating other people just takes some breathing room. What she chooses to do with that time will let you know a lot.I would not take the chance of going through a wedding only to find out in a year she is unhappy.

I think it is probably quite normal. My husband had gone through this whole phase of "wanting to make sure it's a good decision" before we decided to marry. I, too, couldn't quite relate to it - I knew it was a "good decision" within a few months we started dating, before we moved in together. I thought - why in the world would I move in with someone if I wasn't quite sure if it was a "good decision" and I was staying with this person for good? But it wasn't until after a year of living together that we finally committed to getting married. Marriage IS a big decision; some people have more trouble making decisions than others; it all depends on a person. Sometimes people can't come to terms with the fact that there are no guarantees, and that committment and companionship always come with a certain amount of risk. They sense the risk, but interpret is not as a naturally arising phenomenon but instead as a sign that they're "not ready". As soon as you separate out the risk, and accept that it is present in everything you do, it gets easier to make decisions without second-guessing too much.

It's probably just nerves. Is she planning the wedding herself, or going through something else stressful? That can affect her as well. Try to sit down with her and have a calm talk about what the wedding will do for your relationship, what you're both expecting from it and so on. Try to reassure her that nothing will change between you two afterwards, that you're both going to keep on loving each other a lot.

Being a little scared is normal for both as marks a change in the situation making it more permanent even if the only change will be a paper saying so. I will say she having anxiety over it and give her extra affection and talking and assure her it will be fine and years from now you can laugh about this. I really wish you the best wishes--both of you:)

It's normal and also life changing so she's scared of the unknown. First, ask her what her fears are all about then reassure her that everything will be fine and that it's ok to have some sort of fear. When I finally started dating my best friend I was scared too and I told him about my fears tho I couldn't really explain what they were but he reassured me that everything was gonna be ok and guess what those fears are gone. But I know they might come back when I'm ready to get married.

Cold feet definitely

Worst thing is to say its nothing if it turns out to be something. Just keep calm. You wouldnt want to marry someone who is scared to .