Is this even close to a sonnet C/C Please?

Yes, it's close but the meter is inconsistent.

Also, "to late" should be "too late" (Line 7).

Positioning of would-could-should is a novelty, but what does it add to the poem? Worth doing, I suppose, but maybe next time curiosity won't distract you from your task.

Ya, it's close, 10 syllables to a line and ABABDCDCEFEFGG rhyme scheme. The meter is difficult and can throw the syntax off.

He could had lived his life in quiet peace

Would Hope had granted such a simple wish

Had all his friend's and family's love increase

And lived a life to happier finish

His lady might he'd loved if not for fate

Could not have known the lonely life to come

Had time for Hope, it wasn't very late

Loved all his friends, enduring hate from some

He should had known the tricks that life can play

Should hope to find his answers from the past

Had he let chance begin a brand new day

Known from the start just how to make it last

He could had lived to love those that he could,

A legacy he Hoped was understood

Good try Mr. Ripple. We are all learners in Poetry. I once passed off a sonnet of Shakespeare for C/C in our community and guess how it proceeded, just as usual (lol) It is gratifying to find how far you could reach once you try.

I've learned a little rhythmic sense these days, myself. For instance, your first stanza may be written thus:

He could have lived his life in quiet peace

Hoping for life to grant a simple wish

To have his friend's and family's love increase

And live his life to a happy finish

Just make it simple as you would say it.

It is close!

Your syllable - count is perfect

and some stresses are still misplaced - a few.

You are certainly on a par with most who are not yet . here

and are committed to Sonnets so I think this good as most who are

`getting there`.

Like me though, my sense is that you kind of miss the track by out-smarting yourself and

thereby losing concentration on the major priority of your original aim (ouch!)

yet if we nag you enough rather than get attracted / distracted by the novelty-devices

which in your case too are unbridled imagination or irony, (plz..forgive me if I err @ that?),

you stand innately, a very good chance of excellent work, imho.

8

Mr. Ripple

I have to applaud you sir. I enjoyed reading your poem. I have

been writing poetry here on YAP now for two years and have yet

to attempt a Sonnet, so good on you sir. You nailed the syllable

count. The duh-DUH-duh-DUH .......meter will come with time

and practice.

Good ole Robin Hood. You know, we have a modern day Robin

Hood? Great man :(

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Edit: Read this a second time....this author, considering how fresh

Mr. Ripple is, has done some brilliant stuff here. I am not sure it is

privy to a sonnet but I know there is a name for it, but just realized

what the incomparable and talented Mr. Ripple has accomplished

at the beginning of each line. i.e. w/ Would...Could...Should.....

very clever sir.

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I'm about as far apart from being a judge as the earth is to the closest star, but I like it and yes you were clever in the first word of each line, well done.

May your own concentric ripples

emanate far

As I count it, you have 8 out of 14 lines of iambic pentameter (1,3,5,6,7,9,10,13) - not too bad, my friend. That's an interesting fillip you've added to the form - I won't be trying it, thank you :)

Clip CLOP Clip CLOP, Mr. Ripple! Good JOB!

Well it's darn cool that's for sure! I love the word drop thingy- that was really clever.

He he he,very clever!I tried to do a sonnet recently also.Tres difficult,eh? Nice try!

In my opinion you have concentrated on writing a sonnet and not a poem

That's just my opinion ...'Plus; I'm jealous because I can't write a Sonnet . :)