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Please help me. I'm not sure what to do.?
I understand guys need a lot of family time and guy time, that's perfectly natural and I respect it. And I'm glad my boyfriend has a good relationship with his parents and has good friends... but. ..I feel I'm second best. it's been 2.5 years that we've been together and I just feel like I'm his second choice. We agreed that because we're young and don't have much money that instead of buying anniversary presents for each other we would make them... I tried really hard and spent a lot of time on his present, I think he spent all of 5 minutes on mine. He's now going out and buying his parents an anniversary present...I just think it's a bit weird. I don't get it. I feel that in his eyes the plans we make with each other aren't as important as the ones he makes with his dad or other family members.He says I am part of his family, but I don't feel I am. At times I feel like an inconvenience. it's horrible.What do I do? Any suggestions? Has anyone else had a similar situation or felt this way?Thank you
4 Answers
- angelbeliever114Lv 58 years agoFavorite Answer
Hi, First of all...any guy who put me 2nd and his family 1st, is not a guy that I would want to be with.
Secondly, If I spent a decent amount of time making him a gift and he only spent a few minutes to make my gift, then he is clearly not the guy for me. (It just shows me that I'm not worth his time).
Men (the good one's) will generally treat you like they treat their mom. If they love and respect their mom's, then they will love and respect their girlfriends/wives.
Children learn by what see, if they see their parents and siblings as loving family....then thats generally what they want for themselves when they start their own families.
There shouldn't be a "contest" between your boyfriend's family and you. He should be treating you AS part of his family or EVEN BETTER than that.
Don't let yourself be 2nd...go find someone who will put you 1st.
- BoudiccaLv 48 years ago
Actually 2.5 years isn't long. Especially if you don't live together. Honestly it takes a long, LONG time to know someone.
You don't say how old you both are. It feels like he's not ready to leave Mum and Dad. Maybe he feels he should or wants to at some level.
His wanting to please /impress them with presents sounds like he's still the little boy wanting to buy love from them. Are they close? What do you make of them as people/parents?
Things like this don't change in a week, a month or even a year... Not with you being upfront or smart or open with him. He has to be ready to take on a woman as a partner and leave his parents behind a bit.
Source(s): Mother. Wife. Older and wiser. - Anonymous8 years ago
Tell him how you feel and what has to change. You have been together for over two years, you should be able to discuss your problems openly. But if nothing improves, then it's time to think about moving on. You are young, the odds of your relationship lasting long term were slim anyway. Don't waste your time with someone who makes you unhappy.
- whimsyLv 78 years ago
Don't ever get annoyed because he treats his family lovingly. He has strong feelings for you, otherwise he wouldn't have stuck around for over two years dear!
You sound really young even though you've been together for quite a long time. You had better not tell him that you're angry, because this family-oriented young man will drop you like a hot brick.
