jobless and violent alcoholic girlfriend?

Question

I've been with my girlfriend for about three years now. The first two years were great but about a year ago she was reminded of some horrible family issues that she had growing up. I was there for her as she spiralled into depression and started drinking a ton, but she eventually became dependent on alcohol and quit her job. I have been supporting her for a full year now--rent, utilities, food, gas, car, insurance, everything.

If she doesn't drink for a few hours, she starts shaking and vomiting nonstop. I know that alcohol withdrawals can be lethal, so I've always bought her booze whenever she is suffering. I have spent thousands of dollars on liquor for her alone over the past year.

When she's drunk, she is a horrible, horrible person. Shes delusional, breaks things, and physically attacks me. If I withhold alcohol from her, how dangerous is it? How long can I do it before it becomes dangerous? I am her only source for money/alcohol.

Katrina · Answer

She obviously has a very serious issue with alcohol, but like others have said, even though it may feel like it, you are not helping her by giving her alcohol. She has absolutely got to get into a rehab center. There are pretty clearly deep seated psychological issues that are driving her alcoholism and those have got to be dealt with before she can begin to heal.
A rehab center will be able to help her detox in a safe environment, but understand that it is not going to be easy. She is going to go through very hard times, but they could also save her life. Rehab and getting sober isn't a simple, easy process, but if she ever wants to live a healthy life, it's got to happen.
Unfortunately, like others have said, if she won't get help, you've got to move on and cut ties. It may seem harsh and cold to think about, but you can't live any sort of fulfilled life if you are constantly dealing with an anchor dragging you down. No matter who she was at one time, she is not that person now and if she's not willing to get sober, you can't hang around.

Definitely don't wait on this. Get her into rehab or get out.

Fred · Answer

Withdrawl from alcohol can kill you.  If she's got the shakes that bad there's really no other option but to have her dried out clinically.  I'm going to tell you something that's not going to be easy for you to hear.  This is only going to get worse.  And you may have to leave her.  If you cannot talk her into rehab (and for God sake do NOT sign anything that makes you fiscally responsible for that) you're going to have to leave.  She has a physical addiction.  An intervention might work.  But if you can't dry her out she's going to take you down with her.  I speak from experience.  Good luck.

don_sv_az · Answer

She could die in withdrawal.

Convince her to get into a detox program. In the mean time start watering down her alcohol. Add 20% water to start. and increase it every few weeks, 30%, then 40% etc.

Serene E · Answer

sigh..........and feeding her alcohol addiction isn't helping her, dude.  Plus she can't be any kind of gf, addicted.
She needs a rehab program and you tell her she goes or she gets out.  It's her choice.   It's called an Intervention.  And if she won't go, she gets out.

Anonymous · Answer

it will NEVER get better . give her a choice of alcohol detox treatment or you are leaving . she is doing emotional blackmail on you . you can do better , you should dump her . don't let her guilt trip you . go to alanon for more help . they will tell you the same .

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jobless and violent alcoholic girlfriend?

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