Atheist parents please help?

I just never told my insane Christian mom that I had a baby. My daughter is six now and mom still doesn't know she exists.

You need to talk this over with your husband and avoid having your child spend Saturday nights or Sundays with her. It is your call. It doesn't matter how she feels, she had a chance to raise her child as she saw fit and you should have the same opportunity.

People say it will disappoint the grandmother. You are responsible for this child . Do what you feel is best because that is the basic right of a mother.

You might apply for some jobs a few hundred miles away. Grandparents take what they get. You could be living on the other side of the world. Do not let anyone bully you. It is not worth it.

First I would say calm down. If your son goes to church it is not the end of the world. He won't even know what church is until he is 4 or 5 years old. I went to church while growing up and I am an atheist. If your son is bright he will be able to weigh the options later in life and decide what is best.

Most people will say that they want to know all the facts and make an informed decision. Allowing your son to go to church is a good way to expose him to religion. You can also explain atheism to him so that he has a well-rounded education and can decide for himself.

If you believe that your son will somehow be brainwashed by going to church then you should discuss it with your husband. The fact that your husband is an altogether different religion means he might agree with you that Catholic church isn't a good use of Sundays.

Just remember, a lot of people went to church as children and are not part of it anymore. And that's of their own doing. We did not have the luxury of being told different POV's and/or were able to learn about different religions/myths.

I would let my child go after he/she is potty-trained and able to speak for him/herself...on that, I would be adamant.

Be sure to tell him about your and your b/f's beliefs, as well as other religions/myths, what they have in common, etc. Since you and your b/f are on the same side, at least if she's not there, that is a good thing. Hopefully it will just make your child more tolerant.

I think it just makes a child more susceptible to that myth if they are totally ignorant of it until they're older.

Are you expecting her to babysit on Sundays while you and your husband both work? Then you may need to accept that she's going to take him where she wants while she's in charge of him. Even if she doesn't take him to church, if she's taking care of him for any length of time she'll probably decide she's obligated to read him Bible stories and talk about Jesus. You don't find many Christians who are able to keep their mouths shut around a child who isn't being taught about Jesus at home.

You can make your feelings about religious instruction known, and if she refuses to respect your wishes you can make sure that she isn't alone with the kid for any significant amount of time. If you want free babysitting from Grandma you need to accept that it comes with strings attached. You're not going to change your boyfriend's mother. Your influence will be stronger, so don't worry about occasional exposure to religion.

As the child's parent, you can place restrictions on what may or may not be done with your own child, whether concerning food, clothing, activities, or what have you. As long as you express them firmly but politely, and do not place a great many unnecessary limits, there is no reason for anyone to be offended. Don't attack the child's grandmother. Just repeat pleasantly that it is something you feel very strongly about, and would like her to respect when spending time with her grandchild.

That being said, your son is going to be exposed to religious ideas, and think about them and form opinions on them, long before the age of 15 or 16. I know from experience that you can't control a child's beliefs for very long. Be prepared to practice tolerance.

First of all, you and the father need to get on the same page about how to handle this issue.

Next, why would you give an infant to an adult without being clear that the child is not to leave the house ? What grandma wants doesn't matter, the two of you who are the parents have all the say.

I think it's more important to discuss your reservations with your husband, you need to make sure he's aware of your feelings on the matter.

I'm fortunate, (in a roundabout manner) that my son's are autistic so any and all catholic indoctrination my wife tries to impart is a colossal waste of her time.

If you don't want to have to deal with religious indoctrination mother in law, you might consider moving as far away as possible.

You might not be able to facilitate this advice if your husband insists on living close to his parents.

I have a similar problem but it's my wife who insists on living close to her parents, my Dad has a million religious excuses to remain over 500 miles away which I have no problem with.

Depending on what your husband is willing to offer as a compromise on this issue will determine if you need to make this a contentious issue that may strain your relationship if he insists on giving his mother unfettered religious ritual access to your "son".

To be sure this is going to be something that stretches the limitations of patience within your relationship.

While raising my three sons, I was an atheist...

The boys were allowed to attend church services with family members and even vacation bible school with friends. All three have remained atheists although I have not.

I really can't see the harm in allowing your son to share in something his grandmother enjoys. After all, if she's babysitting, it's her call. Remember, she raised your boyfriend, so it's not like she's new to this...And besides, she is the child's grandmother. Imagine how hurt she would be should you be so strict in enforcing the no church rule...

Also, you want your son to grow up well-rounded and knowledgeable of other's beliefs. How is he to learn this if you keep him sheltered?

Expose the boy to as many different cultures and beliefs as possible so that your son can truly make an informed decision when the time comes. Remember, there is no teacher like experience. Simply attending services when he would rather be out playing may be enough to turn him off.

You two as the parents decide what your child gets exposed to. You tell the mother that you are bringing him/her up without religion. If she does not like it, she will be stopped from seeing her grand child.

The occasional exposure will not be enough to fully indoctrinate him/her, unless she is microencephalic