I can't smile.I feel so tired to even walk.What can I do?

Question

Hi everyone, 
My parents been unemployed for 4 years now with no benefits.Everything's drained and they enrolled me in a med school as I got a scholarship. They've lost the ability to earn any longer because of grave diseases and are in a limbo.My father says that he's gonna die real soon and doesn't care about what happens to me.I couldn't work because my parents forced me to take up MBBS as it's prestigious to them and I don't have any capital or contacts to come out of college as it also carries a $6000 indemnity. I've been humiliated very much and am now on the verge of destitution.I'm trying to be brave,watching motivational videos to somehow grit my teeth and drag through,but lately(for about a year),I have lost my will.I don't do it consciously.I just lost it.I can't get it back no matter what.I can't even cry.I have lost the desire to conform to even basic social etiquette.I dress haphazardly.I'm weird with all people.I don't see the point in making an effort because four years of my efforts have gone down the drain and the situation is hopeless.All I pray for is to just stop existing.It's very painful to go out and talk with anyone.I can't smile no matter how hard I force myself.I am feeling exhausted all the time.I can't even walk with a normal gait.I am sighing most of the time.I can't even think coherently.I even stammer when I speak.I know that it is the hopelessness that I'm confronted with.I want to find a way out.Something at the least to fake my emotions.

toddler · Accepted Answer

don't feel that way, just finish your studies as your parents have wished and once you will get your degree, you will start earning well sweety..just stay firm and complete your studies, don't let your parents down..god never disappoints a true fighter, fight with your problems in life like a braveheart.

Generalist · Answer

Gen.
The standard advice is good, and insufficient.

Since you are not quite at rock botton, yet feel that you are, you might just have enough desire for life left to do something that win let you win in this seemingly hopeless situation.

My details were different, yet i have been at a point in my life where there was only defeat, and a bad end in sight. Then I bumped into the strategy designed for anyone who has a breath left, and want to win despite overwhelming odds.

It is called unconditional realism, or the Strategy of the Lotus Sutra.

I now have the life I never thought possible for me. You can, too.

Ranchmom1 · Answer

Step one is to stop doing what your parents want you to do and do what *you* wan to do.  Your parents have had their lives to live and made their choices.  Now it's your turn.

Step two, talk to your doctor about getting medication for depression.  Your brain sounds just plain tired and may not be making enough serotonin for you to even form your thoughts correctly.

Step three, find someone (perhaps one of your college's counselors) who can help you sort out your thoughts and feelings and find what you actually do want to do with this one unique and precious life you've been given.

Wishing you well.

Mary · Answer

I was in such agony in math class. I stepped out early. The feeling of suffocation persisted into Japanese class. I spoke haltingly and miserably. I tried hard to practice Japanese with my friend after class ended. She told me to chill. She bought me ice cream and we sat on the lanai and looked at the ocean in silence. It was hardly 20 minutes long but somehow the break gave me relief. 
You may be suffocated, and I recommend you chill.

Friend Of Jesus · Answer

Rest and Relax

Melody · Answer

Doesn't sound true.  You want money, is that it???  You and 1000 others sending me mail want money.  I'm disabled, not a millionaire.

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I can't smile.I feel so tired to even walk.What can I do?

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