Should I forget it now?

This is your typical case of a confused young woman who doesn't know what to do, if you don't like lame overly emotional over thinking individuals I suggest you refrain from reading!

Basically years ago I mutually got to know a lad same age etc we bumped into one another and me being this awkward anxious shy girl would acknowledge him yet failed to speak to him unless it was through texts. To cut a long story short I remained frigid throughout these encounters over the years, never even saying Hi ( I suffered from social anxiety it makes people think I'm moody, but i rather them that than think I'm mental).

.He popped in and out my life over the years, occasionally messaging me when he recognised me somewhere. Then this year he properly got into contact making more deep convos, and I kind of got more interested in getting to know him but he is habitual in his irregular messaging. He's not consistent, and I'm finding myself drawing more to him, I find myself waiting for him, and have developed this phobia that he will eventually stop trying with me because I might fall for him... Am I falling for him?

But the worst thing is if i admit I am drawn to him he will expect more from me physically and despite my much improved anxiety issues which I am so grateful for, I am still extremely nervous of the prospect of looking at him never mind talking to him.

What do you do here, shall I stop always waiting for these random messages.