Ex Friend Became A Stalker?

Question

In the past, I have asked advice on this particular person. So please do not think I am repeating myself. If you are familiar with my questions in the past. This is something new I thought would not happen. I have managed to get this toxic friend out of my life. He was very demeaning and insulting. He had more problems than what I was prepared to give help to. We were friends for 8 months. I ended the relationship. I told him he was to toxic for me. I also told him I do not like his crazy messages on my machine. I told him this last month. I was finally brave enough to stand up to him. I was scared to do it at first.

Because, I did not know how his mental state was. Like if he would commit suicide or something. But, it got worse. His phone calls were of him repeating my name 3 times in a row. Then, making demands I call him. Than the next call he would be crying on my machine. Saying things like how he needed help, how he does not know whats wrong with him. Even after I would turn down dinner dates he got ruder and ruder even over text. So I finally had to block him on facebook, and block his cell phone number.

That did not work. He called from his home phone number leaving a confrontational message. So I called and told him he was toxic and how I am scared of him. He finally quit. Out of the blue he calls to wish me a Happy Birthday two days ago. Yeah, acting like nothing happened. Than he starts talking about how he has no job blah blah blah. Is this a future stalker guys

Invisigoth · Accepted Answer

what do you mean "future stalker"?  he's already there.

you need to check out the book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker & you need to pay special attention to chapters 7, 8, & 11.

then you need to do the following
1. the very next time he contacts you:   tell him that he is not to contact you any more.  tell him you find him to be unstable & he needs help that you aren't qualified to give.  (if you don't feel safe being that bold then skip that part) tell him that he is blocked & you will no longer respond to his calls or emails.  then hang up.  do not argue with him or try to get him to see things your way.  he has proven that he is not a reasonable person & you cannot argue with someone who is unreasonable.

2  he is now on permanent ignore in your life.  you do not respond to him.  you do not engage him in any way shape or form. you block him by every means you possibly can & if he still manages to get through, you hang up on him as soon as you realize it's him.

if he turns up on your doorstep then you don't let him & you call the police & have him arrested for trespassing.

every time you respond to him, you reward his persistence & you  tell him what he needs to do to get your attention & you invite 6 more weeks of contact from him.

3.  document all encounters with him & save any threatening communications in a special folder.

4.  if he becomes threatening, contact the police & see what you need to do to get a restraining order against him.  keep the restraining order on you at all times.  every time he violates the order, you call the police.

this guy is nuts & you can't play around with him.  you need to go scorched earth on him to get him out of your life.

Shines · Answer

Get a restraining order against him.  He needs meds.

Shubhashree · Answer

Yes, get away from him as fast as you can't if she doesn't stop, then tell someone, if he starts stalking you, go to the cops.
Answer mine?
/question/index?qid=20140615001841AACeQvY

Trending News

Ex Friend Became A Stalker?

3 Answers