My gpd daughter is becoming problematic?

My daughter was a lot like that. However, I did not let my daughter run the show. If she is looking for the easy solution she missed it. It's don't have kids. My daughters issues were due to her having ADHD. Once she was put on medicine she is a whole new kid...for the better. Her and I can actually spend time together. It may be something she wants to ask her pediatrician to evaluate. However, She can NOT let the kids run the house. It may seem easier but I bet you she is depressed, embarrassed, and feels like it can't be fixed (been there). It can. Work on one issue (The biggest) at a time. Work on it for about a week. Then move on to something new. As time goes on she will get that it is just the way things are. Mom is boss. The kids won't hate you forever, and she will feel good knowing that she did the right thing not the easy thing.

"she gets all her own way at home and basically runs the house" That's the problem. She now has to deal with authority and she doesn't like it. Your friend needs to toughen up and enforce rules with consequences. Not spoil her daughter anymore or this will only get worse, not better. When the daughter misbehaves, she needs immediate consequences like a time out, loss of privilege, etc. Will this be easy? No. Will it get worse temporarily? Probably since the daughter is not used to it. But once the daughter realizes the mom is serious, she will calm down. The mom needs to be consistent. She also needs to explain to her daughter why she has rules.

Also, consider other sources of bad behavior. Has there been a recent divorce or other change to the family structure (you don't mention a husband or father)? That is often very traumatic. If setting and enforcing rules doesn't help, she may need to seek professional counseling for her daughter and/or family counseling.

Give her a video called 1-2-3 Magic and watch it with her. Tell her that by creating an easier life, she's making her daughter miserable. Kids aren't happy when they get everything. Have her also talk to her child's doctor and teacher.

Really urge her to figure this out before her daughter is completely unmanageable. Hurting herself at 7 becomes pregnant at 14.