who is right and wrong in this situation?

I don't feel you did a single thing wrong. IF she'd think logically, IF you were doing anything behind her back, she sure wouldn't have your password. She's gone way off the deep end as far as I'm concerned & is misjudging you unjustly. You can tell her she can think whatever she wants, you have a clear conscious & she's over reacting for no reason. Ask her if she wants to go to counselling. Tell her you're more than willing if she'll go with you. That too will enforce your innocence. Stand your ground because she is disrespecting you. In fact I think I'd even advise her of that!!! Tell her she can believe all she wants, you have a clear conscious & ALL she's saying is so very untrue. She is not going to pull you down because she feels insecure & is blaming you for doing things you are not true. Really try to get her to go to counselling. If she says no, ask her why not. The only reason I feel she wouldn't go would be due to finding out she's in the wrong!! Trust you can get things straightened out for your sake. You do not deserve what you're being accused of doing. It's ALL rite in front of her in black & white, what more could she want?!?,,,best to you...:)

Your wife overreacted. That's evident. However, there are things that can be done from your perspective to improve the situation.

First of all, in a marriage context, apologizing is does not mean you're either admitting you're wrong or admitting guilt. In fact, it helps a lot in your relationship if from time to time you apologize for things that aren't your fault, or are really no one's fault. You can still express empathy for your wife's feelings; her feelings don't have to be right or wrong.

Speaking of right or wrong, sometimes wanting to be right is a wrong tendency. It interferes with moving past rough patches and finding solutions. In this case, you'd be advised to ask her wife if she thinks you should have refused the request and if so, why. It's obvious what she thinks, but it's amazing how often listening and ackowledging her thought process helps ease the vendetta and blaming. It would also be a good opportunity to help her let out what else is bothering her, and show empathy. When she's in a better mood, then the discussing her lack of secureness is a viable topic.

You don't need to be right. For the purposes of moving on from this, you'd best look at this as an experience that you can both learn from. But you won't be able to do this if you view this as an "I'm right/ you're wrong" issue.

Almost everyone has triggers and is prone to strong reactions on certain things. You ran into one of her triggers. Emphasize how openness and trust is important to both of you, but at the same time you hope outside friends are important to both of you, as well. But at the same time, being critical of her emotions and reactions isn't helpful. Far better to acknowledge them and work with them.

I would say she is overreacting. As a woman, I know I overreact about things with my husband a lot. And he usually does the same thing you said you did, just ignores me. That makes me madder than anything else!! Even though you know she is just babbling, by you ignoring her just makes her feel like you don't care about her at all and are just dismissing her feelings. I don't see anything wrong with you accepting this friend request, and I feel that she is being very petty. But maybe she is feeling insecure about something which is why she is being jealous. I wouldn't say this is at all about who is wrong or right, but getting to the root of the problem.

youre right and you're wife is fu(king dramatic.. you've done nothing wrong. . all signs point to you being inclusive of her in your social life, and she has your password. .. she's trying to get a response out of you, that's why she's bein so dramatic saying to go your separate ways.. I'd call her bluff, if she wants to be ridiculous then eh let her.. but then I think about what the grown up way to handle things would be and doing that probably won't help.. you've really done all you can til she's ready to calm down and discuss this like a rational person.. sorry man.. good luck.

Well your a cad aren't you not caring for your wifes feelings about this makes you one. She wants to hear that this woman is not worth any kind of arguement and ofcourse you will block her. But oh no you are cold as ice and refute her as nothing. Listen here buster if you care for your wife at all then love her and care about her feelings at every moment. Anyway my husband does, so your sh!t

You have done nothing wrong BUT the trust in your relationship has been destroyed. Without trust there is not relationship and unfortunately, unless your wife can learn to trust you again, then I can see no future for your marriage. I'd suggest professional counselling if you want to save your marriage

learn to man handle your wife...tell her how stupid it sounds..that she is gettin mad at you for random facebook friend request?? laugh it out...and remind her that you been looking after her nd the kids...working overnight....show her that you dont need to waste your time on bullshit topics like this.......she needs to grow up and understand the situations...your life can be controlled by urself...she needs to learn to trust..since you always been loyal to her...so remind her how she is breaking this marriage and then tell her that if you wanna go separate ways..hey i dont mind....but i know what i did..is what im doing for the family now...if you cant understand me..then no point in explaining anything

I have one question for ya: why is that so important for u to " reconnect" with some insignificant floozy n upset your wife?

Actually you are wrong, you're a cheater you have cheated In the past and yes you could and probably will cheat again and your wife knows it