Why do people have the tendency to blame others for their own mess with someone else?

It could be that way with a person or the person could be recognizing their own faults within a situation but you are not aware of it. There is no problem with acknowledging that others may have caused problems in a particular situation. You may only hear the person mentioning others as being a problem within a particular situation, but you may not realize that they recognize that they were not perfect in a situation and caused some problems themselves (and so you get the impression that they just blame others without considering mistakes that they made which were their own fault). So, sometimes there are people that don't take any responsibility for their contribution to problems, but other times it may appear that way even though that is not really the case (they do take responsibility for their contribution to a problem).

@bob7777: You said, "Look at schools today. The poor little dear. He needs a medal because he was in school today. But a medal for superior achievement? No way." That is a typical negative stereotype of young people that is widely spread in the media. I'm a young person and I didn't get awards just for showing up to school. In high school, I was in the Honor Society because I put the effort in and achieved good grades. Upon being admitted to college, I received academic credit for performing well on exams that I took for advanced level courses I took in high school. In college, I was on the Dean's List because I received excellent grades in my coursework. I was awarded for my achievement and not merely for showing up (as where many of my peers).

Also Bob, accountability and responsibility are still taught (there are plenty of young people that display those qualities). Meanwhile, there are older people that are not held accountable and do not take personal responsibility (See the Financial Meltdown of '08 with the bank failures and economic issues caused by some older people that were overtaken by greed and after people that did not contribute to the economic crisis but felt the bad effects of the meltdown caused by these greedy ones, the people responsible for the economic crisis did not take any responsibility and they continued to do well for themselves while others had to suffer under the poor economic conditions.

That's because everyone knows they have faults but they have no idea how others see them, I have often told my daughters I know I have faults I just wish I knew what they were? They are quick to tell me they would be more than happy to tell me!

What I think is not what others think so they don't see themselves the way we see ourselves, I feel this is why the scriptures say not to judge, it's like judging and blind man because he can't see!

There are a lot of self help books out but everyone that I have seen that is reading them always tell me they know why other people are acting the way they are, most do not apply them to themselves!

My favorite is your right were you are because that's where you want to be, I like to say then you must want to be a judge, that irritates them and they tell me their just trying to help and then I tell them but your the one reading the book!

I have found if we do the best to follow what is written at Mark 12:29-31 we will never walk in the shoes of those that won't take responsibility for their actions!

If you were a parent that raised or is rising several small children you would know the answer. I can hear them yet...

"Not me!" ... "He/she did it." "I was not there." "I did not know it was broke." ..."It was broken before I got there" "It must have been someone else"

The people you are talking about are still children as to accepting responsibility or accountability. And sadly the powers that be do not insist people be responsible for their actions or inactions. Look at schools today. The poor little dear. He needs a medal because he was in school today. But a medal for superior achievement? No way.

This is exactly opposite of the requirements of God. look at how God views responibility.

"13 The conclusion of the matter, everything having been heard, is: Fear the true God+ and keep his commandments,+ for this is the whole obligation of man.+ 14 For the true God will judge every deed, including every hidden thing, as to whether it is good or bad." (Ecclesiastes 12:13, 14)

Bottom Line

Accountability and responsibility are two words no longer taught.

https://www.jw.org/en/free-bible-study/

These people lack responsibility and believe they are better then you and I. And when they think others will see they are not better they like to shift the blame to someone else to make them look good.

It's not always easy for people to accept the fact that they have faults. Some folks can admit it, others are convinced that they're never wrong. And if you're never wrong, and things aren't going to plan, it has to be someone else's fault.

Its called being a spirit cannibal , you get drained as they get a lift.