Me and best friend used to hate people who cheat their partners, but now she is cheating too. Should I hate her ?

Question

For many years me n my best buddy disliked such people who cheat their husbands and boyfriend. Now she s married for about 5 years and his husband is a very good friend of mine too. Just recently she told me that texts n meets another guy from her past. I was shocked to know that, I got so upset and stopped talking to her for few days. But I was so sad for those few days ( because I love her so much and I can't be angry with her). I made her explain that she s not going on a right track. But she disclosed to me that she has lost interest in her husband and she s bored of this marriage. She has no kids but is planning for one. What should I do? How to convince her ? Is what she s doing acceptable ? Not even in my dream can I think of disclosing this news to her husband as I know he will be disheartened. Pls pls help

Sue C · Accepted Answer

For some reason, I've always said we never should say "never". THIS IS a prime example of it!!  For someone who was always so against something, but now to be doing it herself. I can well imagine how you feel, especially knowing her AND her husband, know how much it would hurt him if he knew. Of course you KNOW what she's doing is so very wrong. And, she now also wants a child. It sounds as tho she is just plain bored. Could you suggest possibly going to counselling herself. No way would you want it known to her husband what she's doing against him. IF SHE went to counselling, it just could be what she needs for a Professional to talk some sense into her. I've sure done my fare share of counselling, believe in it 100%. I would keep reminding her of how bad it would hurt her husband IF by some chance he found it out. Anything IS possible & if she's planning on having a baby, her husband found out, there would go her chances of having her own child. Maybe talk to her about the good memories you know of that she & her husband had. I'd let her know she knows too well you cannot condone what she's doing, but you're her friend, are there for her none the less & leave it at that. Purposely pull away from her a bit, actions speak louder than words...the best to you, honey...:)

Bradley · Answer

Tell her if she is bored she needs to communicate with her husband and not go out to screw other men.  The fact is that she doesn't deserve to be married nor should she have a child if she does not want to remain in the marriage.  Her poor husband will eventually find out and that poor child they may have will be destroyed because of her selfishness.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe your friend doesn't really realize what she's doing, and how it's affecting her loved ones. She's thinking about herself right now, which is pretty common. If you continue not to condone what she is doing, hopefully she will realize what she is doing is wrong, and may turn around. Stay strong!

Hum Da Monk! · Answer

What a hypocrite, she says cheating is bad and now she is cheating. Yes you should hate cheaters, I hate them all the time.

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Me and best friend used to hate people who cheat their partners, but now she is cheating too. Should I hate her ?

4 Answers