Am I a bad person for not wanting to date someone who is suicidal/depressed?

Question

BC like, i've experienced depression and all, so don't tell me i don't know what they're going through. I just cant handle someone needing to heavily rely on me... not so much in the way of support but in the way that i don't want to have someone emotionally dependent on me. I have a friend who constantly relies on myself and her love interest, and it's getting to the point where it's bringing me down again. I don't think I would be able to handle dating someone who would need that from me, but i feel like that would be exclusive and mean. Does not wanting that make me a bad person?

Ashley · Accepted Answer

I don't think you're a bad person at all. It would be really difficult to stay in a relationship with someone who is suicidal, or severely depressed. It can not only affect you, but also the relationship, not to mention it probably wouldn't be healthy to stay with someone like that, until they start to feel better (either from therapy, or any other professional help).
I've been through depression before as well, but I can understand where you're coming from. It would be a very hard relationship, especially for you.

Mikaila Cox · Answer

You are not a bad person...you are realistic and smart. Depressive individuals do have dependency issues that only they and a psychologist can solve. You are not superwoman. You are not their savior, yet most of the time it feels like they look up to you as that. It's a huge burden on your shoulders. It will drain you and if something bad happens, you will feel guilty. I believe that people with these illnesses should abstain from relationships and just work on themselves...its not fair to bring another person into this. I wouldn't do it.

I dated someone with borderline personality disorder. It took a huge mental and emotional toll on me and I was losing myself. I stayed because I loved him and because I thought that when you love someone you stay through thick and thin (like with family). Besides his random tantrums brought on by his BPD, he was a good man and I hung around trying to help him and to salvage this relationship...but I couldn't do it all by myself. He didn't want my help, he didn't get help from a professional, so it was a lost cause. I couldn't take it anymore. It ended.

My advice to you is....do not do it. You just feel guilty and forced to do this. Its already starting bad and it isn't going to get better. Its actually gonna get even worse. That's what happened to me.

Flobonoski · Answer

no it's good sense ...

at 18 , i got involved with a self harmer ...i didn't know at the time

they do drag you down emotionally..and when it ends you think WTF was i doing

Anonymous · Answer

Less assumptions.

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Am I a bad person for not wanting to date someone who is suicidal/depressed?

4 Answers