Should I not transition?

Maybe, seeing as you imply you are a lesbian anyway (or is that a perception that grates with reality?) you might like to consider if your apparent trans issues are more to do with your sexual identity. There are plenty of lesbians who prefer to be seen as male, manly or butch and some are very convincing. If your sexual needs are met by other women, then perhaps the dark picture you paint of your options or your future might be much more positive than you realise. If your sexuality has more to do with it, no you should not trans. (I'm not sure how well medical progress has perfected a false penis, or if it works anywhere near like a real one, but I doubt you want to be one of the many guinea pigs who end up with one that's neither use nor ornament).

Think it through. Good luck.

Transitioning will not fix your suicidal tendencies. You need to seek out a therapist who can help you deal with depression and self-harm independent of gender issues. Transitioning is not a fix for depression. It's only a fix for gender dysphoria, and only to an extent.

"Either way I hate myself forever"

"and just deal with being suicidal"

Seriously, you have issues that fare extend transgenderism yes that/they may include transsexualism.

You really should try http://www.drbecky.com/therapists.html or local equivalent that does not have a personal/religious bias to the lgbt.

Life does get better, do well in school get a job and get out on your own.

find other trans people and people who support you and transition