Feeling suicidal and no one to talk to. Where do I go from here?

Your parents have likely been "self-medicating" all their lives because they also suffer from depression. But they're not your problem. You must focus on YOU. And that's ok to do! You're only missing the "romantic idea" of your ex - not the idiot who disrespected you. So forget about him and do NOT go back no matter how lonely you get. You wouldn't want a guy like this to be the father of your children would you? No way! So keep your head up and keep moving forward. By the way, it sounds like despite all the hardships, you have found a way to support yourself, take care of yourself, maintain friendships, and stand your ground on this crazy planet we are all spinning around on. This is a GOOD thing! You are a survivor! You are going to be ok!! I recommend you think about volunteering, getting a moonlighting job, taking a class, joining/starting a book club, or maybe take a vacation to some place you've always wanted to go (it's ok to travel on your own!). Just add one positive thing to your life so that you can see you are still on the right track. I'll be sending you prayers and positive thoughts.

well- young lady- with your kind permission- your words here just shook and thrilled my heart and soul..

I humbly guess you're young enough to be my daughter...

it sounds to me you're depressed and clearly traumatised deeply and severely enough...and it's rystal- clear why...

I beg you: refrain, repeat- REFRAIN - from ANY form of even trying to self- harm or take your own life- whatsoever...

heed the fact that NO ONE and NOTHING is worth your paying the price of your life...

heed also the fact that such a ''try''-even a ''failed'' one -can leave you both physically and further mentally disabled for good...

you obviously deserve much better than this...

you might yrgently need the professional help of a psychologist or psychiatrist thereof-in real life-in your area..with no delay if possible...

you deffinitely need -in both the longer and shorter run- to do your best to boost your self-esteem and self- confidence, to learn to love and respect yourself along with respecting others...

may you stay forever-blessed and kept safe and proof from all harm...

Have you sought professional help? If money is an issue, there are charities that can help. Catholic Charities, for one.