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My husband is texting another woman videos on Facebook about sex. Tonight I was going to log on to my facebook my husband page was up. I?
I thought it was my page at first. I didn't notice because sometime our computer still has us logged in. I clicked on the messages & saw his page up. I saw funny videos & pictures he sent her so I clicked on them just to look. We also have each phone passwords & look through each other facebook. I saw pictures with writing & videos about sex plus comments mostly all from him. I was so hurt. We pray to god almost every night together. My husband has anger issues things have gotten better. Lately we argue more over stupid stuff. I'm wondering how to bring this up. I'm hurt I just want their friendship to stop. Lately he been distant wish is why we started praying & reading the bible more. I will admit our sex life was great we went from having sex 3-4 times a week to 1-2 because he tells me tired from work. Lately sex hurts & I feel empathy when I have sex with him now because we don't connect. Please help I want my husband back! Were a newlyweds still a year in & close to our mid 20s in age. I'm not an ugly wife, but I will admit I stopped putting on makeup as much, excerise, & I still do dress nice. Any advice is apprenticed.
14 Answers
- .Lv 75 years agoFavorite Answer
You two need to seek counseling whether it's a marriage counselor or your clergy person (better a marriage counselor but the clergy person probably won't cost money). You need to address whatever the problems in the marriage are, so you can fix them. What changed for him to cause his behavior to change? What's changed for you?
His behavior changes and it hurts you. Because you are hurt, you stop taking good care of yourself. Alas, that isn't likely to bring him back around. The less appealing things are at home, the more likely he is to continue to focus his attention and energy elsewhere. You have less sex, you're unhappy so don't enjoy it as much, you're not taking care of yourself, thus sex becomes less desirable for you both, and the situation just gets worse and worse.
Good luck to you. Talk about it with an unbiased 3rd party. Get some help with problem resolution skills, communication skills, and coping skills. The first year or two of the marriage is the hardest. You're both making a lot of big changes in your lives.
- Anonymous5 years ago
If you're nice and make excuses for him and try to take some of the blame, he will roll with it and be defensive and blame you and not take responsibility for his actions. Worse, he'll keep doing it, and your marriage will die a slow and cruel death before it's even started.
Is that what you want? No? Then call someone to change your locks the next time he leaves for a few hours, and once it's done, text him, "You left yourself logged into Facebook. Your friendship with so-and-so cost you a better woman than you ever deserved." Then you shut your phone off and leave the house. Let him sweat it out.
You don't want to leave any room for him to be defensive or any question over whether or not what he did was right. That will only happen by scaring the crap out of him. Good luck.
- Anonymous4 years ago
you two need to seek counseling whether it's a marriage counselor or your clergy person (better a marriage counselor but the clergy person probably will definitely not cost money)... you need to address whatever the problems in the marriage are, so you can fix them... what changed for him to cause his behavior to change? what's changed for you?
his behavior changes and it hurts you... 'cause you are hurt, you stop taking good care of yourself... alas, that isn't likely to bring him back around... the less appealing things are at home, the more likely he is to continue to focus his attention and energy elsewhere... you have less sugar, you're unhappy so don't enjoy it as much, you're not taking care of yourself, thus sugar becomes less desirable for you both, and the situation just gets worse and worse...
good luck to you... talk about it with an unbiased 3rd party... get some help with problem resolution skills, communication skills, and coping skills... the first year or two of the marriage is the hardest... you're both making a lot of big changes in your lives...
- InfinityLv 65 years ago
My friends, you can ask him but make sure with a properly attitude, ask him if he got any issue or any problem that might need your help. Yes your husband maybe need a somebody to talk with somebody else but that not mean he cheated on you. But yeah do it for love, show him the love, act nicely plus try to understand him. Talking about sex today naturally is normal today but yes must have limits. Angry just make this situation become more worst. Please be more patience if you love this relationship. Sometimes why not if you try entertain him with something like you know something is private between you and your husband. Or maybe some second honeymoon trip maybe. :)
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- AutumnLv 75 years ago
I know this goes against your religion, but think about it. If you believe in a loving god, he wouldn't want you to be with someone who would treat you this way or would cheat on you just because you gained some extra weight. Confront him, go to counseling, if that doesn't work, move on before this sour marriage can burden you and your future children as well. What's worse, two (or more) lives being wasted or destroyed in a loveless marriage, or a happy healthy relationship with someone else?
- Savage Iz GodLv 65 years ago
Thats emotional cheating that could potentially lead to physical cheating if it hasn't already.
If you don't want it to get to that point, I would confront him about it instead of allowing it to carry on just for the sake of avoiding confrontation.
You shouldn't have to put up with that. But you only deserve as much as you feel you're worth.
If you want your relationship to work, Then talk it out with him or suggest counciling if communication seems futile.
Do what you feel you have to do to make yourself happy @ the end of the day.
- 5 years ago
That's one of the reasons why God instituted elders in his church. Where I go to church, there are eight elders. They are the ones to go to for advice on such matters. In fact, if you both attended such a church, an elder would probably know your husband, maybe even be a good friend of his, and could in confidence talk to him about the issue.
I guess my point is that if you are not following the Bible model (church, elders, etc.) that God put in place exactly for such problems, it's going to be very difficult, it not impossible to solve such a problem.
If you are not going to church together, you should start. And don't just go to any church. Compare them to what the Bible teaches to make sure they are a true church of the Lord. Pray to God for help and guidance.
- PatriciaLv 75 years ago
The Bible isn't going to change your husband. HE is the only individual who can change himself. Anger management work for at least a year.
- EvelynLv 75 years ago
Just tell him what happened, that you saw his FB page open and you saw those messages and it hurts your feelings he's making sexual comments to some other woman. Ask him how he would feel if you were doing that with some other man.
- Anonymous4 years ago
certainly address the issue with him,don't let the matter fester and poison your brain...you may break up with him over this but your first loss is your proper loss...