Problems with my 18 year old oldest son.?

It sounds like you Have done what you can & then some. He's considered an 'adult' by legal standards so unless he's hurt anyone or seems suicidal - there is honestly Not much you or your wife can do except inform his doctor regarding the medication issue.

Lots of kids turn rebellious as they age. From what you've mentioned above - his girlfriend seems like a toxic plague. Sadly, chances of You telling him so will Only result in more of a barrier between the two of you.

I'm just a young man Myself, but if he were My child I'd let him know that I love him. Tell him that if He needs you for advice that you'll be there to give it as well as lend an ear. Tell him that you just want him to be happy & succeed in life. As his dad, you're just worried about his current choices.

If He feels living under Your roof isn't in his best interest right now, for the sake of All involved, it might be best for him to go elsewhere. When he realizes that he Needs his parents, he'll take that step. It's a waiting game, but he's a grown-up now. So unless he's deemed incompetent by a medical professional - it's his life. As a parent, All you/your wife can do is love him.

It is so hard to live on the outside of a mental health illness especially when you have provided as much as you can to your child to give him the best life possible but you are right there is a time to stand back in the hope that your son will learn to take responsibility for his actions because having a mental health illness is not an excuse to your actions. My advice would be despite how angry you are right now and rightly so is to reply to his text tell him that you love him and when he is ready to build bridges you will always be there for him, wish him the best of luck and leave it at that. You have obviously worked hard to give him his car and a nice house for you all to live in and at the end of the day this has been through your hard work not his and you do not deserve to have your house damaged because of his temper tantrums and he should have to understand that not everything is free in life and not everything will be handed to him on a plate, he may tell his friends the sob stories but you know the truth, this may be the perfect time for you and your wife to spend some more time together and gain some of your life back that you have lost tiptoeing around your son.

Only one person can take responsibility for your sons actions and that is him

Your son needs help.

I"m so sorry you have to go through this. Clearly you love your son, but even our own children can push the wrong buttons and need us to take a stand in order for them to grow up. You're doing the right thing. If you decide to let him back sit down with him first and talk to him about rules and consequences that are expected of him now that he's an adult. Good luck and hugs to you... the first 40 years of parenthood are always the hardest.

No, Zoloft is much, much worse than weed. omg. DeAnne, unless you are a doctor and have seen and diagnosed this man's son, you should not go around willy nilly telling people to take drugs. Only a doctor is qualified to prescribe for a reason.

As for the OP, I think you and your family would benefit from counseling. Writing texts telling you how childish you are, is very childish. Until he does have to take responsibility for himself, he will continue to act out this way. You have done nothing wrong. He is being selfish.

Weed is illegal for a reason; IT DAMAGES THE BRAIN. No wonder he is acting out.-----

If you know his address, you could print this out for him:-----------

Depression is common but easy to treat. Depression means your brain is not producing sufficient serotonin.

Tell a dr. how you feel and ask for Zoloft, an excellent antidepressant.-----------It takes 2-3 wks for your body to adjust, during which time you will have trouble staying asleep. But after that, you will be a whole new, happy, healthy person.

I hope I can offer some advice because nobody else has tried.

It seems your son is really struggling. The way he has spoke to you is not right because you are his father, but it is a clear indication of his hurt and struggles. The fact he is breaking furniture also shows how he is struggling to express his emotions and perhaps needs help to find a safer/better alternative.

His girlfriend should be supportive towards this dark and scary period of his life and not feeding off of it. I am sure he is straying towards her because he knows it will get to you.

I am not in anyway criticising your methods of parenting but perhaps confiscating his car was not the right move. It seems he is feeling distant from you already with the texts and the fact he has depression shows he struggles to talk and sees nothing positive. I think he is crying out for some attention (not the attention a spoilt child would crave) but for you or your wife to sit and listen and help him the best you can. Taking a stand won't help as it will only make him believe that you are against him and not on his side.

The weed issues are not good either, I can understand your frustration about that. However, that is a separate issue, I think the main issue is how your son seems to think you are not on his side.

You all need to sit and talk and work this out. I hope you find a way, but the only advice I can offer you by not knowing the ins and outs of your family is try not to give your son the idea you are not there for him or are against him. He needs you and your wife more than he is letting on.

First you need to build up this relationship. Then work on the weed issues. I hope this works out.

You can't fix him unfortunately, but you do not have to enable his behavior, either. And even though he has issues and his actions aren't always that positive, i know you're concerned about him.

I hope he decides to get the help he deserves.

look this up on amazon [[ How To Talk So Kids Can Learn Paperback – September 3, 1996 by Adele Faber (Author) ]] author has other books too, all look worthwhile.

you may need professional help as well....best wishes

He's 18. Kick him out. You can only guide him and hope for the best now. Don't be an enabler and reward his bad behavior.