What is wrong with me?

I have felt terrible since I was 14. I started drinking and pill popping at 14 as well. I started smoking weed at 16. I felt so depressed when I was 14. I felt numb most days or angry at myself for being talentless. Then I got drunk for the 1st time. That made it better. I wouldnt care about my problems. Then I popped dxm,gravol, and codeine pills. They would make me feel really euphoric. I love feeling euphoric. I also love weed. I had a year when I was 15 where I felt fairly happy about my life. My parents were worried about my low mood but then I would tell them it was all gone. It always came back though. Then I started feeling euphoric without drugs and that was pretty awesome. Now I get this weird feeling of pure happiness or purpose and I want to spread it around but I cant because nobody cares. That feeling only lasts a couple of days though. Then I feel either sad or angry for a while. Now I feel very low. I dont want to wake up tomorrow or go to school again. I feel more numb. Im just not interested in stuff. I have just accepted these feelings though. I wish I was a better person. I have to start being better now. I feel bad for people who know me. I also have this feeling that everyone who likes me doesnt actually like me at all. I just dont know right now. My mom wants me to see a counsellor but I feel like I would just be wasting their time. I am just a moody teenager and I will get over this phase in a year or 2. I hope.