Should I trust her again?

Question

Gf secretly texted a new guy friend of hers for a month and lied meeting him one day because she was afraid that I'll get angry. She also said that the reason for texting him was that I was not able to understand her (I got angry on little things) and because he was open and friendly to talk with. She regrets what she has done,and has stopped all kind of communication with the person. She says she cant live without me ,  so do I. It really shocked my mind and I find it hard to forget. How can I forgive and trust her again?

angela · Accepted Answer

You need to focus less on your own attitudes toward the situation, and focus more on the root cause of the situation. Women need to feel understood and talked to, listened to, in exchange for them, obviously taking care of you in the ways that you need. However, if you're not providing her with that, can you really get mad at her for feeling hopeless or caught between a rock/a hard space? She feels bad, that is good. She has a conscious. I think often we want to punish others for what they've done, instead of help them to grow and help the relationship to evolve into something each person wants and gets excited about. She is crying out for help, to you, in an indirect, and perhaps not the best way - but this is her saying, "I need you to be there for me. I need you to be a team member in this partnership." Try not to focus too hard on how upset you are that she texted a guy, it's not like she had sex with him or anything, and again, this is just her not-so-great way of trying to communicate that she needs something from you. In other words, this is going to take some work from you and some self-help for your anger - IF you want to keep her.

? · Answer

Well, if you're a hot-head, no wonder she talks to another guy.  I would, too... and you and i would no longer be seeing each other.

Maybe try anger management.

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Should I trust her again?

2 Answers